Free Being Jamie Baker by Kelly Oram Page B

contrary to popular belief my heart is not made entirely of ice. So when that big bulky sign started to fall off its pole, heading straight for the poor guy on the riding lawn mower, I took off running.
    My reflexes are just a tiny bit faster than your average human, and when I move as fast as I can, things appear to me as if in slow motion. In only a fraction of a second, and before anyone even knew what was going on, I rammed the guy on the lawn mower out of the way.
    Should have been an easy first attempt at heroism, right? Piece of cake? Yeah, I thought so too until I slammed into the biggest guy I’ve ever seen. I’m not kidding you, the dude had to be four hundred, five hundred pounds easy. I managed to knock him off his seat and to safety, but I wasn’t prepared for so much resistance. The impact was so forceful that it knocked me to the ground, and that split second of being completely disoriented was just enough time to bring the marquee crashing down on me.
    The blow knocked me out cold for a second, and when I came to I understood how the Coyote felt every time the Roadrunner dropped an anvil on him. Pain. Lots of pain. And here I thought superheroes weren’t supposed to get hurt. Life is so unfair.
    Okay, so I was new to this whole saving people gig, but it’s not like I went to any kind of superhero training academy. I got the crap kicked out of me, but I’m pretty sure that if I hadn’t intervened, lawn mower man would be dead right now instead of trying to get to his feet to see if I was all right.
    That’s when it dawned on me that any normal person in my position would be dead right now. I had to do something, so I ignored the burning sensation in my muscles and used all the strength I had left to raise the sign off me and leaned it against the side of the lawn mower. Then I scrambled into the tiny space beneath it and waited for Mr. Wannabe Sumo Wrestler to catch up.
    Within a few seconds three gardeners were staring down at me, shocked that I was still breathing.
    “Try not to move,” one of them instructed me. “I called an ambulance.” What could I do? I couldn’t just get up and walk away, but I couldn’t stick around to be examined by the paramedics either. After giving myself a moment to calm my panic, I decided to go with the whole pretend-it-didn’t-happen tactic. Superheroes do it all the time in the comic books. It all happened in a matter of seconds, and since I was behind the lawn mower, no one had a good view. I crossed my fingers that they were all shaken up enough to believe me. “I’m okay,” I said, slowly climbing out from under my makeshift lean-to.
    “Impossible,” sumo lawn mower guy wheezed. “That thing fell right on you.”
    “No,” I said, ignoring the aches in my body as I pulled myself to my feet.
    “Yes it did. It smashed you like a pancake.”
    “If it had done that I’d be dead right now,” I said, trying to hide the fear in my voice. “I ducked.
    The sign hit the lawn mower, not me.” I brushed the dirt off me and held out my hands, half tempted to do a little tap dance or something. “I’m fine, see?”
    I could see them all mentally convincing themselves that they’d only imagined it because the outcome was impossible otherwise. Then I relaxed because they were all buying it, whether they wanted to or not.
    My relief lasted only a second, though, because the kids that had been lingering in the parking lot were starting to make their way over to us, and they were already debating whether or not it was me in the middle of the chaos. I needed to get out of there, and when the sirens of the ambulance could finally be heard, all eyes turned their direction.
    I was gone before they looked back.
    I wanted to run. Home, New York City, the Himalayas—it didn’t really matter. I was just scared and wanted to be anywhere except where I was, but I knew that wasn’t an option. I had to go back to Ryan. Otherwise, I’d never be able to explain my little