Free Unbreakable: My Story, My Way by Jenni Rivera Page B

someone for the person’s looks without considering whether the person has other important qualities. That’s what happened to me with Juan. I didn’t care that he wasn’t as ambitious as I was, or that he had no interest in growing spiritually or morally. I didn’t care that, at twenty-three years old, he had fathered three children with three different women, and that he didn’t support any of them financially and would only, occasionally, visit one of them. I didn’t question how at the beginning of our relationship he asked me to charge a set of Dayton rims for the Grand Marquis he drove. I never questioned how he didn’t offer to repay me for them. In fact, as I sank deeper into debt and struggled to sell real estate, I included those rims and the credit card in my Chapter 11 bankruptcy file. Call me dumb. Call me crazy. Call me whatever you want. I know. I was a blind ding-dong, enjoying “true love” to the fullest. I couldn’t see a thing.
    Despite his many defects, Juan did have valuable virtues. He was respectful to my family and kids. He wanted to maintain a good relationship with my loved ones. He wasn’t possessive or jealous like my ex-husband and wouldn’t question or interrogate me every time I leftthe house. He would push me to do better. He thought I was intelligent and had my back if I wanted to continue my education. He gave me enough space to go out in the field to find real estate clients. He believed in my talent, and although I still didn’t take my singing career seriously, he knew that if I tried, I would one day make it. “My girl will be the best in her genre,” he’d tell me and his family. Also unlike in the case of Trino, I had a beautiful relationship with Juan’s family. He knew I loved him and I knew he loved me too. With all this in mind, I wanted to stay with him forever. I was certain that this relationship was going to work.
    However, it wasn’t always so fine and dandy. Sure, it was great at the beginning, but things took a turn for the worse when I least expected it. During January 1996, with the funds I had saved after a few closed sales, I was able to put a down payment on an FHA loan for a house on Keene Avenue in Compton. Because I had filed for bankruptcy in 1995, I couldn’t purchase it under my name; therefore both the loan and the title were under Juan’s name. I paid for the house, but he was the legal owner. I trusted my man. What a dumbass.
    Our fights were never as violent and physical as my fights with Trino, but we did have our mini-matches. There would be some pushing and shoving here and there. If I recall correctly, it was February 16, 1996, a weekend night. The kids were visiting with Trino and his new girlfriend, Dora, as they did every weekend. Juan and I had an argument about something so minor I can’t even remember what it was. To cool off, I went shopping at the Target in Carson for a couple of hours. When I came home, he was gone.
    Our bedroom smelled of his cologne and I noticed the iron was out. That night we were supposed to go to his friend’s wedding together. I couldn’t believe he had left without me. I sat home and waited. Midnight came around. Then 1:00 a.m. Then 2:00 a.m. He still wasn’t back. I was furious and plotted a way to get back at him. Finally, at 2:30in the morning, his car pulled into the driveway. I was hiding by the side of the house. As soon as I heard the motor turn off, I jumped out and screamed, “Surprise!” With all my strength I threw a brick straight toward the front windshield of his Grand Marquis. As soon as I saw it crack into pieces, I ran at top speed back into the house. I could hear him swearing up a storm as I ran from the front yard, through the living room, and toward our bedroom. I didn’t make it to my destination. My race to safety came to a stop on the floor in the hallway. We pushed, pulled, and shoved each other. I tore his trademark chain off his neck. That was like cutting off one of