Free Vanilla Ride by Joe R. Lansdale

early.”
    “That’s right. I love her, but she’s grown and made her own way, and I’m here if she needs me. But she doesn’t have a family bond, and maybe that’s my fault, but it’s the way it is. Except for you and Leonard, I’m about tapped out in the family department. I don’t want to leave you. I can use a gun, and I’m not afraid.”
    “Yeah, but I am. Even if I wasn’t, I’d want you to go. Someone has to keep telling Marvin he has to stay with his family. He’s a great guy, but frankly, he’s not at his best right now. Bum leg and all.”
    “You actually think Marvin will run? That doesn’t sound like him to me. Does it to you?”
    I waved it aside with my hand. “When I explain things to him he’ll be happy to stay out of it,” I said.

16
    “Absolutely not,” Marvin said.
    I had Leonard and Brett with me and we had gone over to explain how things were. We were sitting in his living room and Rachel was there, and so were Gadget and JoAnna. The three women looked so much alike it was amazing. All dark and beautiful and soft, T-shirt-and jean-clad. Well, actually, Gadget didn’t look so soft. She scratched at her arms constantly and her eyes darted. The dope was calling collect and she wanted to answer. She was still attractive, just itchy and a little hard-looking around the mouth and eyes.
    “I got you two in this trouble,” Marvin said. “I’m not about to bail on you.”
    “You’re not bailing,” Leonard said. “You’re running like a spotted-ass ape.”
    “Oh,” I said, turning in my chair to look at Leonard. “That helps. He’ll feel better now. You are like one of those, what do they call them … diplomats.”
    “Figure of speech,” Leonard said.
    “So far,” Brett said to me, “your powers of persuasion are not quite up to the standard you presumed.”
    “Hap should know me better than that,” Marvin said.
    “I’ll tell you what I know,” I said. “And let’s cut the crap. You did get Leonard and me into this. You didn’t tell us the whole gig, about how connected these guys were.”
    “I didn’t know. Completely. I mean, I had an idea. But I didn’t know.”
    “Exactly,” I said. “You didn’t stop to consider. Me and my brother just thought this was a trailer trash episode. We whipped some ass, threw a dog out of a window, shot a guy, took Gadget and brought her home. We went, we saw, we conquered, we came back. And now our asses are in the soup. We want you and yours, and Brett, out of here. And, no offense to Gadget, but you don’t tell her where you’re going till you get there. And you have the only cell phone between you. Not that I don’t trust mother and daughter,” I said, smiling at them. “But one cell phone can be controlled more easily, and you don’t want a lot of people calling you anyway. Any little thing might leak out and you might then involve someone else. And I don’t trust you, Gadget. The monkey on your back howls the loudest at midnight, when everyone else is sleeping. You might decide to decamp.”
    “Just let me go back to Tanedrue,” Gadget said. “He’s not going to bother me.”
    “Except when he’s making a field goal with your head,” Leonard said. “There’s that, and, oh yeah, about a ton of drugs you can suck up your nose.”
    “You don’t know how it is,” Gadget said. “I’m … I’m in pain. And Hap hit me too.”
    “Yes,” Leonard said, “but it was swift and beautiful and full of the power of love.”
    “Ha!” Gadget said. “He still hit me.”
    “You had it coming,” Marvin said. “Never thought I’d say such a thing, but you did.”
    Gadget’s lip went pouty. She said, “You still don’t know how it is.”
    “I don’t know how it is,” I said. “But I’ve seen it before.”
    “Just let me go back,” she said.
    “Don’t be ridiculous,” Leonard said. “These guys suck rat bag. And you’re on your way to being just like them.”
    “At this point,” I said, “I’m