Free A Series of Unfortunate Events: The Vile Village by Lemony Snicket

about Olaf's capture. "Ladies and gentlemen," Officer Luciana said, "and orphans, I give you Count Olaf!" "But I'm not Count Olaf!" the man cried. "My name is Jacques, and... " "Silence!" commanded one of the meanest-looking members of the Council of Elders. "Rule #920 clearly states that no one may talk while on the platform." "Let's burn him at the stake!" cried a voice, and the children turned to see Mr. Lesko standing up and pointing at the trembling man on the platform. "We haven't burned anyone at the stake for a long time!" Several members of the Council nodded their heads. "That's a good point," one of them said. "He's Olaf, all right," Mrs. Morrow called from the far side of the room. "He has one eyebrow instead of two, and there's a tattoo of an eye on his ankle." "But lots of people have only one eyebrow," Jacques cried, "and I have this tattoo as part of my job." "And your job is villain!" Mr. Lesko called out triumphantly. "Rule #19,833 clearly states that no villains are allowed within the city limits, so we get to burn you at the stake!" "Hear, hear!" called several voices in agreement. "I'm not a villain!" Jacques said frantically. "I work for the volunteer... " "Enough is enough!" said one of the youngest Elders. "Olaf, you have already been warned about Rule #920. You are not allowed to speak when you are on the platform. Do any more citizens wish to speak before we schedule the burning of Olaf at the stake?" Violet stood up, which is not an easy thing to do if your head is still spinning, your legs are still wobbly, and your body is still buzzing with astonishment. "I wish to speak," she said. "The town of V.F.D. is my guardian, and so I am a citizen." Klaus, who had Sunny in his arms, stood up and took his place beside his sister. "This man," he said, pointing at Jacques, "is not Count Olaf. Officer Luciana has made a mistake in arresting him, and we don't want to make things worse by burning an innocent man at the stake." Jacques gave the children a grateful smile, but Officer Luciana turned around and clunked over to where the Baudelaires were standing. The children could not see her eyes, because the visor on her helmet was still down, but her bright red lips curled into a tight smile. "It is you who are making things worse," she said, and then turned to the Council of Elders. "Obviously, the shock of seeing Count Olaf has confused these children," she said to them. "Of course it has!" agreed an Elder. "Speaking as a member of the town serving as their legal guardian, I say that these children clearly need to be put to bed. Now, are there any adults who wish to speak?" The Baudelaires looked over at Hector, in the hopes that he would overcome his nervousness and stand up to speak. Surely he didn't believe that the three siblings were so confused that they didn't know who Count Olaf was. But Hector did not rise to the occasion, a phrase which here means "continued to sit in his folding chair with his eyes cast downward," and after a moment the Council of Elders closed the matter. "I hereby close the matter," an Elder said. "Hector, please take the Baudelaires home." "Yes!" called out a member of the Verhoogen family. "Put the orphans to bed and burn Olaf at the stake!" "Hear, hear!" several voices cried. One of the Council of Elders shook his head. "It's too late to burn anyone at the stake today," he said, and there was a mutter of disappointment from the townspeople. "We will burn Count Olaf at the stake right after breakfast," he continued. "All uptown residents should bring flaming torches, and all downtown residents should bring wood for kindling and some sort of healthy snack. See you tomorrow." "And in the meantime," Officer Luciana announced, "I will keep him in the uptown jail, across from Fowl Fountain." "But I'm innocent!" the man on the platform cried. "Please listen to me, I beg of you! I'm not Count Olaf! My name is Jacques!" He turned to the three siblings, who could see he had tears in his