Free Resonance (Marauders #4) by Lina Andersson

the man in question was married, and that had only happened after months of humiliation from the people that were supposed to help her, or at least should have remained neutral. When it was my turn, I didn’t even try, and that could very well be one of the things in my life that I was most ashamed of. It might not have been my fault, and it might not have made any difference, but by not trying, I had in a way enabled him to keep raping women. Because I knew he still did.
    For some reason, the sexual harassment and rape of my friend hadn’t been something I could talk to Zach about. Maybe because I didn’t want to worry him, it’s not like there was something he could do about it, but also because I’d fought with both Dad and Zach about my decision to join the Navy. Then I was raped. So badly I broke my tailbone, and I couldn’t sit down for weeks. Zach had deployed by then, and I couldn’t write to him about it, I just couldn’t.
    Months later, I’d been so ready for Zach to come home, to be with someone I’d be comfortable around, and the same week he was expected to land on US soil, I found out that he was dead and Tommy was injured.
    Tommy was the next best thing, and someone I trusted and loved. I still didn’t know why he had gone along, but when we snuck away to talk, I’d kissed him, and he hadn’t protested at all. Not even a little. In fact, he’d been really damn eager. He was the first one I’d had sex with since the rape. He was actually the first man besides Dad that had been allowed to touch me. Having Tommy there, someone so familiar, had wiped away any bad feelings for the moment, and it had only been good.
    Then I’d fucked it all up. I’d fucked it up so bad that when I realized I was pregnant I simply didn’t have the balls to contact Tommy. I couldn’t even imagine standing face to face with him.
     
    ~oOo~
     
    BILLIE HAD CALLED HIM on Sunday before lunch to tell him Felix was okay that day, and that he could come with Tommy to the family dinner. Around three o’clock, he’d gone to pick him up, so now they were outside the house, and as much as she was trying to hide it, Billie was flipping the fuck out.
    “Promise me to be careful,” she said while holding Felix’s cheeks.
    “Yes,” he answered, and he sounded a little annoyed.
    “I love you, little guy.”
    “Love you, too, Mommy. Can we go now?”
    When she closed the door, Tommy could see her swallow a sob before turning towards him, and that caught him off guard.
    He’d seen Billie fall seven feet from a tree and break her arm without shedding a single tear. When she was fourteen, she’d cut up a five-inch gash in her leg while surfing, and she was mostly annoyed she couldn’t go on, but no tears—and now she was about to cry.
    “Please, please, please don’t let him out of your sight,” she pleaded. “He can get so carried away when he’s eager about something like this, and he can be really fast sometimes. Faster than you think.”
    “I know.”
    “I sent Melanie the list of his diet, and keep an eye on how much he drinks and…”
    “Fucking hell,” he muttered. She’d be a mess before he got Felix back home, and she was actually starting to make him worried he’d fuck this up. So he opened the door to Felix’s side of the car. “How about we bring your mom to the dinner?”
    “What?” Billie said.
    “She can come?” Felix asked with a big smile on his face.
    “Sure,” he pointed Billie towards the back seat. “Just get in the fucking truck.”
    “You sure about this?” She looked at him hesitantly. “They won’t mind?”
    “No one will give a shit. Get in!”
    She didn’t ask anything else, just got into the back and buckled up. Felix was quiet for a long time, but by the time they were on their way out of Phoenix, he turned towards him.
    “You said both the s-word and the f-word. They are not nice words.”
    He looked at Billie through the rearview mirror, but she was staring through