Free The Housewife Assassin's Guide to Gracious Killing by Josie Brown Page A

that Jack is already dressed in his tux. “Considering Asimov lands in less than an hour, if an assassin is here, we don’t have much time to take him out,” Jack says. “I guess I should head downstairs to introduce myself to some guests, and to do some recon.” 
    He hesitates just long enough to gaze down at my naked, damp body. I know he’s thinking how easy it would be to pull me down onto that king-sized bed. How fun it would be for me to undress him. How he aches to be inside me.
    Well, if he’s not thinking this, he should be.
    I get my answer when he draws me in close. As he leans in to give me a kiss, his lips linger over mine.
    “Soon,” I whisper, and the spell is broken.
    He sighs, then heads out, closing the door behind him.  
    I’ve just started to dry my hair when I hear a knock. I grab my robe and tie it around me before answering the door. I presume it’s a servant with our extra towels. 
    Abu is standing there. He still has Eddie in his arms. “Ah, Mrs. Stone! Your daughter asked I retrieve her bear from you,” he says in a conversational tone.
    “Why, thank you,” I respond. “Please come in.” But before I usher him in, I turn on my iPod to an Elvis Costello song, then shut the bathroom door. This signals Arnie to loop an innocuous twenty seconds of pre-recorded empty room digital footage, so that the covert surveillance camera won’t pick up what’s happening. 
    I run to the door to let Abu in. When Eddie starts to whine, Abu picks up the dog and muzzles him. “This job is driving me crazy! This mutt has a mind of his own.” As he sits down on the bed, the dog licks his beard. “Why do I get the feeling he’s just looking for crumbs?” He shakes his head in disgust. “Hey, listen. Emma just texted with a tip on the Chechen. Apparently, our target is one of the good guys, part of a rebel group, which calls itself the Gray Wolf Brigade. Its operatives have a tiny tattoo of a wolf on the inside of their wrists.”
    I pet Eddie, who immediately rolls over to get his belly scratched. “It’s not much of a lead. I guess if we shake enough hands, we may uncover our target.”
    “For now, it’s all we’ve got.” Abu scratches his beard. “I think this darn dog has fleas.”
    “It’s your imagination. Eddie’s got to be the best kept dog in the world. Which reminds me: I saw a Nova episode on the intelligence of dogs. Seems that they take their behavioral cues from us. If we’re happy, so are they.”
    Abu shakes his head helplessly. “Then this dog must want to jump off a cliff.”
    “The point I’m trying to make, Abu, is that you should watch how Eddie responds to those around him. For example, does he act differently when Janie is happy or sad, or if Babette seems harried?”
    “Nothing like when Breck is in the room! Then Eddie goes bonkers. The growling is unbelievable.”
    Yeah, well, he’s not the only one who tenses up around the lord and master of the manor. Not that I’d say that to Abu. “Have Arnie’s toys been of any help?”
    “Nope. This pooch is stubborn. Refuses to shut up, no matter how many times I push Arnie’s squeeze toy silencer. I’ve tried bribing and scolding. Babette has already warned me that they aren’t pleased with my results. They’re afraid Eddie is going to bite some head of state. I just hope I can hold onto my gig until this shindig is over.”
    “Do yourself a favor and download that Nova program. Maybe it’ll give you a clue as to what you’re supposed to be doing.”
    “Aye, aye, boss lady.” As he salutes me with one hand, he opens the door with the other. Big mistake. Eddie, seeing his chance at freedom, races down the hall.
    “Dog whisperer my ass,” Abu mutters, as he takes off after his charge. 
    I’ve just clicked on the dryer again, when there’s another knock on the door. I crack it open to find a maid standing there, with an armful of towels. “Shall I take them into the bathroom, Madame?” Her accent