Free The Black Album by Hanif Kureishi Page B

speaking. Will playing with your words make me satanic in your eyes?
     
    Riaz Forget this literature-shiterature talk. Let me ask you directly – if a character comes to your home in Sevenoaks and abuses your mother and sisters, what will you do?
     
    Chad You got a problem, brother?
     
    Shahid ( snaps ) Don’t call me brother! Why should you be more of a brother than any other man in the street?
     
    Chad You confused, brother – ( To the others .) Or he hiding something.
     
    Riaz This writer has abused us in the same way that racist abused the old man and his family in the East End.
     

    Shahid Do we have a monopoly on hurt? Why should our feelings of hurt be greater than his? If we attack him we become no better than the racists we oppose! We should debate with him. Censoring him will only limit what we can be, when the whole world could be ours.
     
The door opens and Zulma enters .
     
    Zulma Shahid – come. Attend, darling.
     
    Shahid Auntie? This is a meeting!
     
    Zulma I’ve told you before, don’t call me Auntie! Sometimes censorship is necessary! Who is in charge? ( To Riaz .) What are you doing, having a political meeting?
     
    Riaz This is a private meeting, madam.
     
    Shahid We’re discussing the fatwa.
     
    Zulma And you’re going to demonstrate in his favour?
     
    Shahid No. Not in his favour, I don’t think.
     
    Zulma ( appalled ) Students are supposed to have bloody brains, aren’t they?
     
    Riaz Have some respect, madam.
     
    Zulma Don’t raise your voice to me! Religion is for the benefit of the masses, not for brainbox types like you. Those simpletons require strict rules for living, otherwise they would still think the earth sits on three fishes. But you mind-wallahs must know it’s a lot of balls.
     
    Riaz ( controlling his ire ) I am a peaceful man. I urge all to love those of other religions, yes, even the wretched Christ-killers who lack faith in their own faith. But we need to send a clear signal to everyone, Muslim and non-Muslim alike, that our faith is not a matter for fictional debate.
     

    Zulma Arey, practically the whole world is ringing me about this hullaballoo, as if I wrote the novel personally. Darling, things are getting so extreme I may have to read it, and I only read on the toilet.
     
    Riaz ( to the others ) Come, brothers, we have work to do.
     
They leave, casting murderous glances at Zulma .
     
    ( To Shahid, as he leaves .) I will pray Allah guides you to the true path, Shahid.
     
    Zulma As if my head weren’t burning up in flames with the problems your entire family has given me, thank you very much.
     
Shahid and Zulma are left alone .
     
    Why are you in with those people? Oh, Shahid, what has happened to you?
     
    Shahid Please, Auntie, I need to think.
     
    Zulma You will certainly be needing to cogitate after I give you one tight slap.
     
    Shahid You can’t hit me.
     
    Zulma Well, I’m in the mood. ( Tuts .) You had a decent upbringing. And now I see you hanging round with beardies who’ve already messed up Pakistan. I can’t tell you the problems darling sweet Benazir Bhutto is having with these tufty cunts.
     
    Shahid The problem is not people like Riaz, but your class, Zulma. You and your school friend Benazir, with your foreign bank accounts, doing nothing for the country but leeching it for yourselves.
     
    Zulma It’s people like her who help maintain some decent image of the country abroad, darling. If it weren’t for us, you’d see ZZ Top on TV, and then where would we be?
     

    Shahid Can you hear how arrogant you sound?
     
    Zulma How dare you speak to me in that fashion? I thought you were one notch better than that brother of yours. You don’t go in for prayers as well, do you? With that girl who should cover her whole bloody horse-face?
     
    Shahid At least Tahira is not materialistic like you and Chili.
     
    Zulma Let me tell you, next time I’m going to be demanding an arranged marriage. These free marriages – what are