Free Violation by Lolah Lace

and remorse. I feel like shit for wanting to stick my dick where it doesn’t belong again and again. Maybe if I go see a professional I could forget about her. I had a complete mental breakdown the one time I slept with a stripper and I didn’t seek professional help. I was losing my marbles. So it was best that I sleep this obsession off.
    I called my mother on Sunday when I was sure she was home from church. I needed to hear her easygoing voice. I needed to hear some of her words of motherly wisdom. I needed someone to reassure me that I was still a good person despite my forbidden tryst.
    I didn’t tell my mother what I did. But talking to her gave me a distant form of absolution. Forgive me Father for I have sinned and all that. This was what she unwittingly provided for my wounded soul. I felt a little better. I wasn’t pond scum, just regular scum. I wasn’t the worse of the worse. I had just made a mistake. Shit happens. My mother helped me remember I was a good guy.
    I’m not sure why I thought Serena would call or text. Why would she? I started to question whether or not she enjoyed herself. I started to wonder if I was being used in some grander revenge plot. I wondered if I was too rough with her during sex. I hit it hard, knocked it right out the park.
    Why did I feel rejected? I felt like I fouled out. I felt like that fat kid sitting on the bench watching everyone else play in the game.
    I needed basketball. It was the only thing that would soothe me. It was the only thing that would ail my aching ego. My heart wasn’t aching. It couldn’t be. That would be too much. That would be insane.
    Practice at the stadium was bright and early Monday morning. We had an important game tomorrow. I needed to get out of my head. I was the first player to arrive. Lance was next. I was closest to Dee and Lance. They were like my brothers. I really only had an older sister Justine. She lived in Paris with her girlfriend. The lesbian thing was a secret. I don’t know why Justine wouldn’t come out to our parents. Sure our mother was religious but I thought she could handle it. Justine didn’t think so. Just another thing I don’t understand.
    Lance was ready to greet me with his regular small talk when my feet hit the court. Lance was funny without even trying. He had a family and he seemed to be happy. He wasn’t like Dee. Lance had cheated on his wife before, but he didn’t make a habit of it. He didn’t have full-blown affairs with women. He was very discreet and the entire time, the eight seasons I was on the Cavs I had only known him to cheat twice. He wasn’t Mr. Perfect but he was remorseful. He had a great family and his wife Tiffany was very understanding after she found out about one of his infidelities.
    “How was your weekend?” Lance was grinning hard.
    “I just hung out at home.” I hoped I had convincingly shrugged off my monotonous life.
    “That’s what you always do.”
    “What did you do Sir Lancelot?”
    “I took my kids to the Water Park up North. If you opened your mouth you could have come up there with us.”
    “No, I was cool chilling by myself.”
    “Whatever man, you’re turning into a shut in.”
    “I promise the next time you guys go to the strip club I will buy the bottles.”
    “Okay next time. I’m going to have to remind your ass. You hate the strip club.”
    “Why are you always on my ass? I don’t like throwing money at women’s asses.”
    “Yeah man you would rather wine and dine.”
    “Well wine. I’m down for that.” I grinned when I thought of the four bottles Serena and me drank that night. Fun times. Nasty fun times.
    Deshawn joined us on the court with five minutes to spare.
    “Dee you are always on CP time,” Lance yelled at Dee as he jogged toward us.
    “Look man I’m on time.”
    “Nah man you just made it. What happened Dee? Your dog ate your homework?”
    “No, I got stuck in traffic. Nah, I’m lying. I got stuck in Vanessa.”
    “TMI,”