Free Almost Perfect by James Goss Page B

speed-dating.’ She finished, quickly and bravely.
    Rhys moved smoothly towards the kettle and pulled down two mugs before she could blink.
    ‘Speed-dating, is it?’ he said. ‘Not even married a few months,’ he sighed, stirring the tea bags and pouring in milk. With a practised move, the bags were flipped into the bin and the mugs carried smoothly across the living room towards the coffee table.
    Oh god, thought Gwen, we’re going to have a rational conversation. Sometimes, I miss the rows.
    A few minutes later, they were having a very good-sized row. Gwen was shouting. ‘No! Rhys! No! I am not having you come along!’
    Rhys roared back. ‘What, are you frightened I might get more attention than you?’
    ‘No, of course not!’
    ‘Thanks very much, pet.’
    ‘No! You know what I mean – this isn’t fair. I can’t spend the evening worrying about you.’
    ‘Then don’t. I’ve been on dates with mental girls before. I’ve even married one, and it’s going bloody well, thank you very much.’
    Gwen marvelled at how determined Rhys’s jaw had got. She suddenly saw a glimpse of him as a child really, really wanting a toy fire engine. She spoke, gently. ‘I see. And how will you know if it’s the suspect you’re talking to?’
    ‘Well, I’m assuming two things will happen. One, she’ll try and kill me, two, you’ll come down on her like a ton of bricks.’
    ‘Ten points to Gryffindor,’ said Gwen.
    ‘Admit it – you’re looking for a woman. You going along is a bit pointless. What’ll you be looking for?’
    ‘I don’t know – desperation, anxiety, hunger.’
    ‘I see. You’ve not been out with single women for a while, have you? Good luck spotting the difference there, pet.’
    ‘Rhys – how many single women do you have throwing themselves at you?’
    Rhys shrugged. ‘Company Christmas Do, they hurl themselves at me like Blu-Tack.’
    Gwen couldn’t help but laugh. ‘Bollocks.’
    Rhys placed a placating hand on her arm. ‘Now don’t fret, love. I may possess a raw animal magnetism, but I swear I’ve only ever used my powers for good.’
    ‘Really?’
    ‘Yeah. I know what single women are looking for – someone dependable, reliable, and studly.’
    ‘But what about the single men?’
    Rhys smiled wolfishly. ‘Something blonde, fit, and easier to get into than a tangerine.’

HELENA CARTER IS MAKING
MONEY FROM THE MISERY OF
OTHERS
    The manager of Abalone’s shot Gwen a worried look when she walked in. She ignored it, and headed over to a girl at a table with a lot of stickers.
    ‘Hi!’ she said.
    The girl looked up, and grinned, professionally.
    Gwen eyed her up and didn’t like her. The woman was very polished. Everything about her reminded Gwen of the people who came in to do training courses when she was in the police. Great, great people skills but as shallow as a bucket. All open questions and big smiles and no bloody use in a crisis.
    ‘Hello! Welcome! Is this your first time at speed-dating?’
    ‘Er, yes. Yes it is.’
    ‘Lovely,’ said the woman. ‘Well, it’s ten pounds, it’ll be a lovely evening, and there’s a free cocktail at the bar. What’s your name?’
    ‘Gwen Cooper.’
    The woman looked at Gwen for a beat, and then wrote out ‘Gwen Cooper’, and handed it to her on a sticky badge.
    Gwen grinned goofily. ‘Why do they never make these things nice so that they don’t ruin an outfit, eh?’
    The woman looked at the badge. ‘Please don’t take it off. We’ve got some gorgeous men here tonight and we’ll be kicking off in a couple of minutes. Why not have a mingle and enjoy your complimentary Bellini?’
    Gwen swished to the bar, where a small group of women were nervously making scrabbling small talk. In a corner, like they were penned up, a clutch of men stood. They looked sullen.
    ‘Oh god,’ Gwen thought. ‘None of these people look like killers. This is just going to be a completely embarrassing nightmare.’
    And then Rhys walked