Free Licentious by Jen Cousineau Page B

handles of the crutches as if they were stroking the keys of the piano. Music starts to cloud my mind. I close my eyes to hold back the tears that threaten when I think of the last time I played. My dreams killed Eve, whispers in my ear. Opening my eyes, slightly shaking my head to rid myself of the thoughts that occupy me, I exhale as I head out into the hallway.
    Slowly making my way down the stairs, I don’t hear anything. Anything . I’m surprised that I’m the first to wake up. Normally Dad rises with the sun. Finally reaching the bottom of the stairs, I make my way to the ugly sofa to rest for a minute.
    Maybe if I just keep moving , the pain and stiffness will eventually get better. After a minute to rest, I stand up from the couch and go into the kitchen to start a pot of coffee. Nothing beats that first sip of coffee in the morning. I’ve been hooked on it since I was sixteen, despite Dad trying everything he could think of to prevent it from happening.
    As I stand and stare at the coffeemaker waiting for it to finish dripping, my thoughts fall back to my conversation with Aedan last night. I feel horrible that he’s holding all of this guilt on his shoulders. It’s not his fault! I know this is going to be a rough road for him. It’s going to be rough for all of us, but Aedan is the job. He’s not just a cop —he is a cop. He lives it and breathes it. His job consumes him. The fact they pulled him from even going near the case when he feels so much for it has to be killing him. Maybe, I can do something to help. Maybe if I ask him to keep me company, maybe take me somewhere—although I don’t really feel like going out in public just yet. Hmm.
    I peek out the kitchen window, which has a clear view of the back of the driveway, garage, and most of the backyard. Both Mom and Dad’s cars are missing. Where the hell could they be? Maybe they both ended up having to work? I’m surprised Dad’s FMLA hadn’t been approved yet.
    As the coffee finishes brewing, I decide to go wake Aedan’s ass up and see what his plans are for the day. Our house is on the small side. Originally, the upstairs was my parents’ master suite, and Eve and I shared a smaller room as our bedroom with the room directly next to it being a toy room. My Dad had fixed up a portion of the basement so Aedan could have his own space down there. His bedroom and bathroom are completely finished, but the rest of the space hasn’t been touched, leaving open ceilings right to the beams and concrete walls and floors. Once Eve and I grew out of the ‘toy’ stage, somehow , Dad convinced Mom to let him remodel the two smaller rooms into a new master suite for them, allowing Eve and me to claim the upstairs.
    Reaching the bottom of the stairs, I flip the light switch on and turn to the left where the basement opens to the unfinished area. My eyes grow wide in shock, all breath leaving my lungs as if someone sucker-punched me in the chest. Fear and ice rush through me as tears sting my eyes. “Aedan!” I scream as my hand comes up to cover my mouth and I stand there in shock.
    Aedan’s still body hangs from the rafters of the ceiling, a thick rope wrapped around his neck. His lips are blue, his body still, his eyes focused on me.
    I can feel my body shaking vigorously as I drop my crutches and limp-run to where he hangs. Searching around for something to use to get him down, I keep talking to him as if he could actually hear me.
    “ It’s okay, Aedan.” I try to stay calm and clear as I choke through my tears. “I’m going to get you down. I have to get you down.”
    Looking around , I see nothing that will be useful. I move as quickly as I can to the back of the basement where we keep everything for storage. I grab a black metal folding chair and make my way back to Aedan as fast as I can. Unfolding the chair directly next to him, I ignore every pain coursing through me and climb up to try to untie the knotted rope from the ceiling.
    The