Free Betty in the Sky with a Suitcase: Hilarious Stories of Air Travel by the World's Favorite Flight Attendant by Betty N. Thesky, Janet Spencer, Nanette Weston Page A

the chihuahua and tucked the tiny dog into her very ample bosom. The dog fit there very nicely and seemed very comfortable. So I looked at her, and I looked at the dog (in her very ample bosom) and I said, ‘Well, technically, I guess that would qualify as a carrier…’ and the dog rode in her very ample bosom for the rest of the flight.”
     

A flight attendant:
    “Once a raccoon in a pet carrier was sitting in the luggage loading area, waiting to be put into the cargo hold. The animals are always loaded last, so the people in the area were trying to tempt the raccoon with tasty tidbits and morsels to eat. The raccoon wasn’t hungry and refused to eat anything it was offered. Then someone stuck a piece of paper in the cage, and the raccoon ripped that piece of paper into tiny shreds, and seemed to really enjoy doing so. This amused the people very much, so they continued to tuck pieces of paper between the bars of the carrier, laughing as the raccoon did his imitation of a paper shredder. Finally the raccoon was loaded on the plane along with all the rest of the luggage. When the plane arrived at its destination, the raccoon was unloaded, and the cargo handlers were dismayed to find that during the flight, the raccoon had amused itself by grabbing every baggage tag it could reach, and ripping them into tiny pieces. The floor of his entire cage was covered in colorful bits of paper that had previously been baggage tags. Needless to say, a lot of suitcases failed to reach their destination on that flight, and the passengers never knew the reason.”
     
    A flight attendant:
    “Evel Knievel was a passenger on one of my flights years ago. On a hunting trip, he shot a wild turkey, which he then had stuffed. He was afraid it would be damaged if he checked it as baggage, so instead he bought a first-class ticket for his turkey. He got on board with the turkey under his arm, put it in the window seat, strapped it in, and acted as if it was the most normal thing in the world to travel with a turkey. The turkey was the best-behaved passenger on the flight!”
     
    A flight attendant:
    “I was working a 777 flight from Phoenix, and as I sat on my jumpseat while we prepared to takeoff, I was directly across from a couple who seemed very nervous. The woman was especially fidgety and worried, and kept looking at the ceiling above her head, looking increasingly agitated as we began to taxi to the runway. They kept looking at each other, and then looking at the ceiling, and pretty soon I heard scratching and scraping noises coming from the overhead bin above them. So I asked, ‘OK, what’s in the overhead bin?’ The woman looked embarrassed as she said, ‘Flying squirrels!’ As soon as she uttered these words, we took off. In a calm voice and with a straight face, I asked her how many flying squirrels were up there. She replied, ‘Only four!’ She explained that these were her pets and that she was afraid that one was going to harm one of the three others. I then asked what kind of container they were in and she said they were in a backpack, but all in different pockets. I then asked if the airline was aware they were on board and she said no. She explained that the last time they traveled with their pets, they did all the right things. They got the squirrels their required shots, paid the extra money to have carry-on pets and did just fine until their return flight. Apparently Phoenix security wouldn’t let them through with the squirrels because they are considered rodents and rodents aren’t allowed on any airline. Then this poor couple had to rent a car and drive back to Chicago from Phoenix, forfeiting their purchased airline ticket, all for the love of their pets.
    “I said, ‘Here is the deal—do not open that overhead bin!’ They agreed, and I called the purser to discuss the situation, all the while imagining four flying squirrels escaping and flying through the plane. The purser could hear the scratching