Free Betty in the Sky with a Suitcase: Hilarious Stories of Air Travel by the World's Favorite Flight Attendant by Betty N. Thesky, Janet Spencer, Nanette Weston

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    Animal Antics
     
    Leopards, gorillas, and mice, oh my! Who knew there are so many airline stories starring our furry friends? In this chapter we hear about raccoons, dogs, turtles, squirrels, and mice all flying the friendly skies. Hang on for a “wild” ride!
     
    Betty:
    “When we boarded late in the evening for a cross-country flight, a man got on with a cat in a carrier. The cat meowed loudly and constantly and would not shut up or calm down. It was a very loud, insistent, annoying meow that never stopped for a single moment. When we took off it was still meowing, and by now the passengers were wondering if they were going to have to listen to this very troubling meowing for the entire five-hour night flight, when everyone was hoping to get some sleep.
    “Finally the man came up to me carrying the cat in its cage and he said, ‘I know it’s against regulations but I was wondering if I could take the cat out of the carrier just for a little while so I can try to calm it down.’ He explained that he had just purchased the cat two days earlier and was flying home with it. Under the circumstances, I thought this was a good idea and together we removed the cat.
    “Well, it was a very rare and expensive cat, a hybrid that was half Asian leopard, and half domestic cat. It looked like a little leopard and had absolutely huge paws. When I put out my hand to stroke it, it grabbed a hold of my fingers with its paw and held on, just like a little baby will instinctively grab onto a finger. The cat seemed to be comforted by this and quickly quit crying. With the man holding one paw, and me holding the other paw, it eventually fell asleep and the entire plane heaved a sigh of relief. In my career, I’ve done a whole lot of hand-holding, but this is the first time I’ve ever held hands with a cat. And a leopard cat, to boot.”
     
    A flight attendant:
    “A woman was flying with her small dog, which she had checked as baggage. The pilot came on before the flight and told the woman that they were unable to carry the dog in the cargo hold because they were also transporting a large quantity of dry ice, which had the potential of suffocating the dog as it melted, giving off carbon dioxide. The pet carrier was too large to fit under the seat, so the pilot very nicely told the woman that he would carry the dog with him in the cockpit. So this sweet little dog went into the cockpit with the pilot, and he soon regretted his decision.
    “It was a long flight, from Atlanta to L.A., and we flight attendants would ring the cockpit to see if they needed anything to drink, or lunch, or whatever. Every time we rang the cockpit, the bell would go ‘ding-dong’ and it sounded just like a doorbell. That dog yapped his cute little head off every time it sounded. I asked the lady who owned the dog, ‘Does your dog bark every time someone rings the doorbell?’ and she said, ‘Yes, you bet he does!’
    “So, having discovered this, we decided we would ring the cockpit every time we thought up a reason. That dog barked his way across the continent, driving the pilot crazy. I’m sure that by the time we arrived in L.A., the captain had quite a headache.”
     
    A male flight attendant:
    “We were in the middle of a flight and I was walking down the aisle checking on my passengers when I noticed a very large woman (with a very ample bosom) traveling with her pet chihuahua. The chihuahua was out of the carrier and sitting on her lap. Well, I’m a dog person, and I’m sympathetic to other dog people, but rule are rules, and the rule is that animals have to stay in their carriers. So I leaned over to speak to this very large woman (with the very ample bosom) and I explained why the rule is important and why she needed to comply with the rule and put the chihuahua back into the carrier. Without saying a word, she looked at me, and then she looked at the dog, and then this very large woman (with the very ample bosom) picked up