Free Life's Perfect Plan (The Life Series) by Sarah Goodman

to catch my breath and bring my nerves to a state of calm. Who would have thought that would be the worst exam on a patient in my career life. It tore me apart, to see her reaction towards me when I touched her. That is one thing I didn’t want to do the first time I met her. I love what I do, and I know that many women dread the gynecologist office. So many women are nervous, embarrassed, and even bashful, but my profession is nothing different than any other doctor. I remember when I was in high school I admired my father. To take on the role of single father raising two teenagers and running a practice inspired me to be just like him. When I had concerns of going into a profession where I looked at vaginas all day, he was right there beside me saying. “Son, if you’ve seen one vagina you’ve seen them all … all the same and they serve two purposes … sex and birth.”
    Being a doctor for several years and looking at vaginas never bothered me until today, until Elizabeth was on my table. I have got to tell her I can’t be her doctor. This is too awkward, and doesn’t feel right. Now she’s pregnant with triplets and that means more visits for her . I just can’t do this. I’m on the computer printing out information for her on her pregnancy with multiples when I can see from my peripheral vision that she is standing by my office door with Ella. Damn!! She is stunning, even with the clothes she is wearing, hair not done and no makeup on she is beautiful.
    A knock on the door diverts my attention to her standing nervously against the door jam. “Come in Elizabeth, please have a seat.” I say as I keep clearing my voice . Dammit, calm down, Jake!! “I’m just printing off some information for you.”
    I watch her sit in the chair with her leg crossed over her knee. Her foot is shaking a mile a minute and she keeps rubbing her hands together. I can tell she is nervous around me. I wish I knew why I made her so nervous. She wants to tell me something, her eyes are focused on the back of my computer screen. The wheels in her head are spinning.
    “Dr. Alexander … um, I want to say thank you for what you did the night my husband died. Ella told me it was you that sedated me so that my babies would have a chance for survival and obviously it worked. So, thank you.” She says quietly and I see the tears start to trickle down her cheeks. Shit!! I don’t want to see her cry.
    Leaning over my chair I grab the tissue box from the shelf behind my desk. I hand them to her. “Here, please don’t cry Elizabeth.” She pulls the tissue out and dabs it under her eyes.
    “Thank you, I’m sorry I don’t mean to cry, it’s just today of all days is very emotional.”
    “I completely understand.” I say to her and truthfully I do understand the heartache she is going through. Maybe one day I can tell her that we are more alike than she thinks. I need to get to the point of why I brought her to my office before the nurses come banging on my door. Turning my chair around I pull the papers off the printer and pull the yellow folder of pamphlets, coupons and websites off the shelf. I place the yellow folder on my desk, leaning forward I open it up and show her what is inside. Then I hand her the papers I printed off. I advise her to have no caffeine, but if needed no more than one cup a day. I want her to limit her salts and greasy foods, up her fiber and water, and sleep eight to ten hours a night. Sleep when she is tired, and most importantly listen to her body.
    “Any questions or concerns you call the office.” I hand her another associate’s business card. This moment is what I have been dreading; this is a moment that I have never had to do in my career. I want to see Elizabeth as she is, not as a patient. It morally isn’t right for me to see my patients as any more than patients and I want more with her. I know it will take her time, but I feel it in the beat of my heart that she is the one for me. She is the