Free Life's Perfect Plan (The Life Series) by Sarah Goodman Page B

Christmas … Nope! I can’t do it. I can’t bring out all the memories that Grant and I have accumulated over 9 years. Also, I can’t crawl up in the attic, so this year since it is just me. I am not decorating. I will be starting the New Year with seeing a realtor, I can’t live in this house, knowing that this house was meant for Grant and me to raise our children. With him not here, it feels wrong and unwanted.
    I have seen Dr. Alexander every week since my eight week visit. After that visit I saw Cole and Anna to give them a copy of the ultrasound. They were speechless to hear the news of having three grandchildren. Anna is over the moon and has offered her grandma-sitting services. I will happily oblige! Cole is excited, but hits him with a double-edge sword. Due to my high risk and carrying multiples, it was lectured to me by Dr. Alexander and Ella to live a stress free life as much as possible, and relax as much as I can. I have got to keep them in me for as long as possible. So I let Cole know that I had to resign from the practice. One, it was for the pregnancy and two; I haven’t been back since Grant had passed. I couldn’t go into the office that he and I shared five days a week. I couldn’t go into his office and see everything of his without him being there. One of our associates, Indira, packed up his and my personal items and shipped them to me. They are still in the garage. I can’t go through it. I know what is in there. I can’t go through the memories right now. Cole was great and assured me that once I was ready to come back that I will be accepted with open arms. I’m not sure if I ever want to go back.
    Getting ready for my twelve week appointment I am nervous. It’s that mark in any woman’s pregnancy where it can go downhill or uphill. Where you wait for the twelve week mark to tell friends you are pregnant, but it’s also that mark where it can go bad. Knowing that I could lose one or all still weighs heavily on my mind.
    Kate is going to go with me. I haven’t told her it is triplets. I want to surprise her with the ultrasound today! I was there when she found out she was having twins. I wanted to continue with tradition. Kate picks me up in her dark blue Ford F-150. I grab the oh shit bar to haul my butt up in the seat.
    “Kate, how in the hell did you get the girls in the back seat?” I ask exasperated from pulling myself up.
    “Girl, where in the hell do you think I got my guns from.” As she is flexing her biceps to me. “Bethy-baby, just wait, you pick out this cute infant seat, but you don’t realize that this seven pound baby does a lot of growing in its first year. Times that by two and you got yourself a continuous workout, but don’t worry you can just snuggle your little wee one in that hot car of yours and be fine. I had to hoist up the girls in this truck. By their first year they were over twenty pounds plus the weight of the seat. UGH!! I don’t miss those days. It’s nice to tell the girls to jump in and then all I do is buckle”
    I just smile, because she has no idea … I have no idea what I am in for.
    Realization sinks in. I’ve got to sell my pride and joy. “Kate, did two seats fit in the truck ok, was there room for a third person to sit back there?”
    She looks at me with her eyebrows scrunched together, “Umm, yeah there was room. When we went out as a family I sat in the middle to watch over them. Why do you ask?
    “Oh, just wandering. By the way you didn’t get those arms by lifting car seats, you got those arms by shoveling horse shit.”
    “Car seats … horse shit it’s all manual labor, baby!”
    We pull into the office. I warn her of how hot my doctor is. I tell her how we have made small talk during the last month. That when he touches me he makes me light up like a damn Christmas tree. We wait in the waiting room. Kate is fidgeting, she holds my hand, then her foot is tapping the coffee table a mile a minute, then she is rubbing my