That doesn’t make sense. You’ve been pushing me to do something—well, here it is.’
Xav stepped in. ‘That’s not the issue, cupcake—sorry, Crystal . It’s the kind of success you’d be aiming for.’
‘What do you mean?’ I examined their faces—they all knew something I didn’t but I had no idea what.
‘We Savants can’t become famous—not in ordinary circles,’ Trace explained. ‘We have too many enemies and people would use us if they knew we had certain gifts.’
‘But I’m not trying to be famous for being a Savant.’
‘We understand but the same still holds true. If you are well known, people will start digging for dirt and asking questions. There is no one more examined than a celebrity. If they find out about you, you’ll become a target. At the moment you’re safe because you are unknown.’
‘Sorry, Crystal, better not take off that mask on Sunday.’ Xav pulled the bowl of spaghetti towards him to help himself to seconds.
Diamond, sensing the explosion about to come, held up a hand to silence him, but it was too late.
‘I can’t believe this!’ I shoved my chair back and leaned both fists on the table. ‘I finally find something I could do—somebody who thinks I’ve got a future—and you’re telling me to forget it! Oh, it’s all right for you with your shiny gifts and your reputations in the Savant world, but what do I have? Nothing!’ My head started to pound, eyesight blurring. ‘You all know I’m worse than useless in the Savant world so why the hell should I let that hold me back?’
‘You’re not the only one who has to make sacrifices, Crystal.’ Trace managed to make me sound like a child in a tantrum. ‘Xav here has had to turn his back on a promising skiing career.’
‘Yes, but he has something worthwhile in its place—his healing. I want this—I want this new life. If it means cutting myself off from the Savant way of doing things, then fine, I’ll do that.’
‘But your family belongs to that world. You haven’t thought this through.’
I folded my arms, gulping against the lump in my throat. ‘I’m not the one saying I have to choose.’
‘Crystal, please.’ Diamond rested her forehead on the back of her hand. ‘I’m sorry, but I can’t deal with this now—what with the wedding and everything else on my mind. Can’t it wait? We’ll talk it over when that’s out of the way.’
‘You know, you might not get anywhere in any case. No point driving a truck through the family harmony for something that might not happen. It’s a competitive industry.’ That was Xav’s brand of peacemaking; he should leave it to Diamond.
‘Thanks for the support, guys. Really, I’m overwhelmed.’ I took my plate to the counter, scraping the uneaten food into the bin. ‘I think I’ll go for a walk. I expect you’ll want an early night as you’ve been travelling. I have to get up at dawn for work so, well, see you sometime.’
I made sure the door banged loudly when I went out. One benefit of sharing the flat with others again was that my temper had an audience so the gestures were worth making.
I didn’t go far. I sat by the vaporetto stop near our apartment on the edge of the raised boardwalk that we used during high tides. In late autumn and winter we often had to slosh through puddles as the lagoon swamped the edges of the city twice a day. There was a siren system for dangerously high water or acqua alta , as we called it, but just at the moment the tide was low and no one was walking on the raised platform. A street seller with an eye for the late trade of tourists visiting the restaurants shot little glow-sticks into the air; they hovered for a moment before falling back to the pavement—a tiny firework. A breeze came in off the Adriatic, bringing the scent of diesel and saltwater. Boats came and went from the mooring platform. I pictured them in my mind like needles tacking together the edges of the city in a constant circle.