Free If I Die by Rachel Vincent

your life, but I may only get this one shot.” When that didn’t work, I sighed and tried from another angle. “You were right. I don’t know what I’m doing. Please help me.”
    Even I could hear the anxiety in my voice, so I wasn’t surprised when Sabine laughed.
    “Okay,” she said, and suspicion lingered on the edge of my mind. Why would she agree so easily? “But first, breathe, Kaylee. He’s not even in the room yet, and you sound like you’re about to pass out.”
    “That’s your fault.” I sucked in a deep breath and held it for a couple of seconds. “You told me I wouldn’t be any good.”
    “Yeah, and I also told you it wouldn’t matter.”
    But it would. I stretched out on the couch with my eyes still covered.
    “Look, I don’t have time to get good at this and I’d like to avoid humiliating myself. Just this once. Are you going to answer my questions, or do I need to go create the most embarrassing Google search history known to woman-kind?” Not that there was time for that anymore.
    “Fine.” I could practically see her pouting, in my head. “What do you want to know?”
    Another deep breath. “Don’t laugh, but…what am I supposed to do?”
    Sabine didn’t laugh, and I almost died of shock. “Anything,” she said.
    “Nothing. Whatever feels right.”
    “That’s a nonanswer.” And it only made me more nervous.
    The mara sighed. “It’s the truth. If you don’t know what to do, don’t worry about it. Nash knows what he’s doing. Trust me.”
    My stomach clenched around my ice-cream breakfast. “Could you please not remind me of the two of you together?”
    “Who’s asking who for help here?”
    I was regretting asking already. But there was no one else. “What about my hands? What do I do with them?”
    That time Sabine laughed, but she sounded genuinely amused, not cruel. It was a nice—if suspicious—change. “Touch…whatever you want to touch.”
    I groaned and squeezed my eyes shut tighter. “Anything more specific?”
    “Use your imagination. But real y, you can’t go wrong. He’s going to want you to touch him.” I started to ask another question, but she spoke again before I could. “Fortunately for you, the process is kind of foolproof, Kaylee.
    The basics, anyway. People have been doing it since the beginning of time—
    with no instructions. Just keep it simple.” Right. Simple.
    “Do you know how the French describe an orgasm?” Sabine asked, and the familiar edge of mischief in her voice was almost a relief.
    “How the hell would I know that?” Sexual euphemisms weren’t covered by Mrs. Brown’s French II class syllabus.
    “They cal it la petite mort. The little death. I think there’s irony in there somewhere. At least for you.”
    “Wow. Thanks for that,” I snapped. “I love being reminded that I’m about to die.”
    She exhaled heavily. “You know how much this sucks for me, right? I have one thing with Nash that he doesn’t have with you. One thing. And you just cal ed me for advice about how best to take that away from me. If we hadn’t just called a truce, I’d think you were finally learning how to play the game.”
    “I’m not—” But before I could finish insisting that I hadn’t meant to rub it in her face, Nash knocked on the door, and I stood so fast my head spun.
    “He’s here. Gotta go.”
    “Swel ,” Sabine said, and her voice cracked a little on that one syl able.
    “But cal Emma when you want to talk about it afterward. I’m not that kind of friend.” She hung up and I slid my phone into my pocket. Then I wiped sweat from my palms onto my jeans and opened the door.
    Nash stood on the porch, smiling. Waiting.
    His smile slipped a little when he saw my face, and a thread of doubt swirled through his eyes before he could squelch it. “Are you sure about this?”
    “Yeah.” I grinned nervously. “Yes. Come in.” I grabbed his hand and pulled him into the house without stepping back, so that he was