Free Lunar Park by Bret Easton Ellis Page B

believe.”
    “The Jayster. Always a dreamer.”
    “I am so relieved. I knew the whole suburban scene was a great idea for you. By the way,” he said, gesturing at a plastic skeleton hanging from a rafter, “is this how the house normally looks?”
    “Yeah, Jayne loves it.”
    He paused. “And you’re still sleeping on the couch?”
    “It’s a guest bedroom and it’s just a phase—but, wait, how did you know?”
    He just inhaled on his cigarette, debating whether to tell me something.
    “Jay?” I asked. “Why do you think I’m sleeping in the guest bedroom?”
    “Helen told me that Jayne said something about you having bad dreams.”
    Relieved to have an out, I said, “I’m not having any dreams at all.”
    Jay’s expression led me to believe that this was not all he’d been told.
    “Look, we’re in couples counseling,” I admitted. “It helps.”
    Jay took this in. “You’re in couples counseling.” He considered this as I nodded. “After three months of marriage? That does not bode well, my friend.”
    “Hey, earth to Jayster! We’ve known each other for almost twelve years, man. It’s not like we met last July and just decided to elope.” I paused. “And how in the hell did you know I’m sleeping in the guest room?”
    “Um, Bretster, Jayne called up Helen.” He stopped, did another bump. “Just thought I’d warn you.”
    “Oh, Jesus, why would Jayne call up your wife?” I tried to toss off this question casually but shuddered with coke-induced paranoia instead.
    “She’s worried that you’re using again, and I guess”—Jay made a gesture—“she’s wrong . . . right?”
    “Haven’t we outgrown all this tired irony? Weren’t we supposed to give up acting twenty-two forever?”
    “Well, you’re wearing a marijuana T-shirt at your own Halloween party, where you just were making out with a coed in the bathroom, so the answer to that, my friend, is a definite nope.”
    Suddenly the dog had enough and started barking for us to vacate the garage.
    “On that note,” I said. “We’re heading back to the party.”
    We reentered the labyrinth and weaving through the darkness I felt twitchy. The rooms seemed even more crowded than before, and outside people were swimming in the pool. Realizing that a lot of kids from the college had crashed I started worrying about what Jayne was making of all this. The hallways were so jammed that Jay and I had to walk through the kitchen to get to the living room for drinks and just then Joe Walsh’s familiar opening riffs to “Life’s Been Good” blasted me into a manic moment of air jamming. Jay looked suitably amused. The sweet aroma of pot began announcing itself in the living room. My heartbeat had doubled because of the cocaine, and I had acquired a new crystalline focus and wanted everyone to be friends. That’s when I noticed Robby wandering around in a Kid Rock T-shirt and baggy jeans so I grabbed him roughly by the neck and pulled him toward us. “I bet it took a lot outta you, huh? Coming down all them stairs?” Robby shrugged, and I introduced him to Jay and then handed them both margaritas, which Robby took so reluctantly that I had to playfully smack him around, urging him to drink it. Robby and Jay started having the kind of inane conversations eleven-year-olds have with people approaching fifty. Robby had taken his usual stance when talking to an adult: You mean nothing to me. I noticed he was gripping a baseball designed to look like the moon.
    And then more tugging on my guitar: Sarah again.
    I rolled my eyes and muttered a curse under my breath. I looked down and sighed: she was wearing tiny white hot pants.
    “These are the kids,” I told Jay, gesturing at Robby and Sarah. “Her look is glam, and pink is very in on six-year-olds this season. Robby’s wearing white hip-hop and is now officially a tween.”
    “A tween?” Jay asked, then leaned toward me and whispered, “Wait, that’s not like a gay thing, is