Free The Ghosts of Lovely Women by Julia Buckley Page B

face popped into my mind, and I started to sing “Blue Eyes Cryin’ in the Rain.” This was one of my dad’s favorites. I was very tentative, but Charlie seemed to like it. He snuggled right against me like he was ready to be there for the long haul.
    After a while I was less self-conscious, and I tried to make the song very pretty and soft so that Charlie would fall asleep. I felt a bit disoriented; first my apartment was invaded and now, somehow, I’d ended up holding a baby in Derek’s. I felt safe, though, and so did P.G., who was already curled up at the foot of the bed.
    Who was in my apartment? I wondered as my voice sang. Was this a random robbery? Or — I dreaded the thought but made myself look at it — could Richard have been there? If so, why? What could he possibly have been looking for? I had made sure to give him back all of his possessions.
    Another thought occurred to me. Had I really lost my key? Or had someone taken it? And if they had, who would have done it? It would have to have been someone at St. James, because I hadn’t been around any other people since work. It could have been a student — I didn’t always lock my classroom. It could have been a colleague, but that seemed very far-fetched. It could have been a staff member, but why? Why?
    Nothing made sense. If it was a random person looking for money, how had they gotten in without breaking the lock? It hadn’t looked disturbed, and my neighbors would have heard the ruckus if it had been.
    No, this just wasn’t making any sense. I realized, looking down, that I had a sleeping boy against me. I didn’t want to risk waking him up, so I stayed where I was, enjoying the feeling of a baby’s embrace. He was warm, and he smelled nice, like powder and crackers.
    I rested my head against his and wondered if I would ever have children. I wondered what time Lucky and Matt would reach Vail. I wondered how Jessica had set up her website without help from some computer-type person. I wondered…
    When I woke up Derek was standing in front of me, smiling. “Good job,” he said. “He always goes to sleep better for girls.” He took the chubby boy from me and slung him over his shoulder. I feared that Charlie would wake up, but he was zonked out. Derek set him in the crib with practiced ease. I stood up and moved back into his living room.
    When he joined me I said, “I didn’t mean to barge into your room. I was looking for a quiet place.”
    “Understood.” His smile, I realized, always held a quality of reassurance. “The police are at your apartment and the intruder is gone. They need you over there — I asked my neighbor to sit with Charlie until we get back.”
    “We?”
    “I’m not letting you go there alone.”
    “Uh— okay. I really appreciate that.”
    We waited for Derek’s neighbor, a tall young woman with freckles and blonde hair, and then went downstairs, I with a sudden weariness. I longed for the silence of my apartment, but it wasn’t going to be silent; a part of me never wanted to go in it again. I wondered how I could possibly feel safe in there tonight. I clutched my dog’s leash and he stayed close at our heels, not ready for an instant to be left in a stranger’s place.
    On the way I thought out loud. “Derek, my key was missing. And although I have an ex-boyfriend who could be on a short list of suspects, I have changed the lock since he and I broke up. I feel like someone at St. James stole the key. I don’t — I’ve never locked my classroom door. I guess that’s stupid, but I’ve never had anyone steal anything. Maybe someone took the key and broke into my place. And the weird thing is—”
    “Yeah?”
    “I— Rosalyn Baxter was asking for Jessica’s journal today. And I was carrying it around. Anyone could have seen me with it — I know Jessica’s mother did. I’m just rambling, but I’m thinking, and that’s the only thing someone wanted from me. That journal.” I lifted my purse.