Free His For Keeps: (50 Loving States, Tennessee) by Theodora Taylor

sitting between us.
    “And you’re not a nice man,” I shoot right on back, without looking up from my journal.
    I sense rather than feel him go still beside me. “What makes you think I’m not a nice guy?”
    With a sinking feeling inside my chest, I belatedly remember the pre-concert montage, including a snapshot of Colin’s recent People Magazine cover feature, which had been titled, “The Nicest Bro in Country.” On the way over here, Ginny had gone on and on about how everybody liked Colin. His staff, his fans, reporters, even rappers cited him as one of the coolest, most laid back guys on the planet.
    Colin, I re-realize way too late, still hasn’t recognized me as the girl from that long ago night at the Lancer mansion. But other than what had happened between him, Mike, and me, I have nothing to base what I just said on.
    “I dunno,” I answer, carefully closing my journal and replacing the elastic band around its cover. “Just a guess.”
    “Just a guess,” he repeats. His voice is a little harder now. Not so easygoing. It sends a chill up my back. No, not a chill. That’s the wrong word.
    His voice sends a strange, hot heat through me. One that makes it hard not to shift nervously under his blue gaze, much less meet it.
    “Is ‘just a guess’ why you’re blushing now, Red?” I hear him ask beside me.
    Ugh, stupid nervous tic! I’ve never been one of those light-skinned girls who went around wishing she looked more black, but this blushing situation is making me incredibly jealous of Josie’s nut brown skin.
    Another possibly good lyric, but this time instead of writing it down, I desperately try to relieve the tension with a joke grenade. “Alright, alright, if you want to watch Star Wars so bad, you can have the couch and I’ll take your big ol’ bedroom tonight. Seriously, I don’t mind.”
    Colin chuckles, and to my great relief, the sexual tension goes down a few notches.
    “Nah, I’ll watch Star Trek . I like this one anyway. Not as much as I like Star Wars , but it’ll do.”
    It’ll do . I slide a quick look over at him, wondering if that’s how he feels about my company tonight. The original plan was that he was supposed to be going out for a fancy dinner with Josie, after I conveniently left with an excuse about having to catch a flight back to Nashville for a label meeting.
    I take another drumstick, thinking this meal’s not the only thing serving as a replacement for something much better tonight. The cold chicken is definitely not dinner at a five star restaurant and I’m definitely not Josie. But I guess Ginny was right about what Colin was willing to put up with. Cold chicken and watching Star Trek with me will do for him, at least for tonight.
    Now why that makes me feel so bad inside, I don’t know. I don’t want to know. I take another bite of chicken and watch the movie, trying my hardest not to think about it.

7
     
    That Other Night
     
    “Honey, pumpkin, sweetie pie, c'mon. Don't do this to me! I need you!”
    “No!” I answer, crossing my arms. I don't let myself look at my mother as I say this. She doesn't often use terms of endearment on me. So when she does, it makes it hard to deny her a thing. Especially when her large brown eyes are set on beg, like they are now.
    But I try to stand firm this time. I tell her, “I'm not going out there with you.”
    “You have to, pumpkin. Chances like this don't just come along every day, and you know how hard I had to work to get this one. How's it going to look if I've got to go out there without a guitar player, cuz you a trifle scared?”
    It's true. We're at The Rusty Roof, and the head of Big Hill Records is out in the audience. Valerie's right. Opportunities like this didn't come along often.
    But I'm not just a trifle scared. I know deep down to my bones that going out on that stage tonight isn't a good idea.
    “How about that white girl who tried to go on earlier?” I ask my mother. “She didn't even