Free Vivian's List (Vol. 1) by Haleigh Lovell

began pacing again. I paced back and forth so many times I must have worn a groove in the oak floors. “Are you out of your mind, Viv?”
    “Why not?” She looked at me with sudden anxiety. “ Is the idea of sleeping with me so … so repulsive to you? Is it because you think I’m frigid, too?”
    “No,” I said at once. “No ,” I said again with even more conviction. “That’s not it at all.”
    I started to speak again when I noticed the stooped curve of her shoulders.
    Sensing her pain and distress, I felt my own self-reproach.
    T his probably wasn’t easy for Viv. And here I was, making her feel even worse about herself. A vise clamped at my heart at the thought that I was doing this to her.
    “ Viv.” I softened my tone. “Brody is a fucking douchebag for saying that. And you don’t need to do everything on this list to prove a thing to him.”
    “I want to prove it to myself. Not him. I need to do this for myself , and I need your help.” Her gaze searched my face. “Will you do this for me?”
    As suddenly as I had wanted to discuss her outrageous list, I now wanted nothing more than to close the subject.
    I eased down on the sofa and sank back against the cushions, pressing hard against one temple to alleviate the migraine I felt coming on.
    Vivian was proposing to have sex with me . I swallowed a groan. How the hell did it even come to this?
    The silence between us was thick with tension .
    I found myself glancing around the room, taking in the cracked light fixture, the slight warping of the floorboards, the chipped paint on the fireplace mantel.
    Vivian always kept the house clean. Not just clean, but immaculately clean. But there were signs of wear and neglect.
    The house needed some fixing up, and I intended to start soon.
    “Why aren’t you saying anything?” she asked, her voice catching.
    My headache renewed with double force. “Christ, Viv. I’m actually at a loss for words.” I dragged a hand down my face. “I’m still in shock.”
    A long beat passed before she spoke. “Did you read the whole list?”
    “No,” I said. “But I think I’ve seen enough.”
    “Read it.” She regarded me with a challenge in her eyes. “Read the last item on my list.”
    I paused and studied her . Shadows tinged the fragile skin beneath her eyes and she suddenly looked so tired, and so vulnerable.
    With a deep sigh, I reached for her notepad and cast a swift glance at the bottom of the page.
     
    Experience the Big O
     
    “Is it true?” I held her gaze. “That you’ve never had an orgasm?”
    Her nod was almost imperceptible, but it was there.
    “Not even just now?” I cleared my throat. “When you were touching yourself?”
    Her cheeks turned a shiny pink and she inhaled deeply before answering. “No.”
    I delayed my response, giving my thoughts a chance to catch up.
    In the silence, Vivian furrowed her brows and I noted the slight creases in her forehead.
    I wanted so much to smooth her skin and remove her worries.
    “I was thinking about you … ” She sighed. Audibly. “When I was touching myself.”
    A mixture of longing and unexpected sadness touched her voice as she said this.
    My heart skipped at her admission and my tongue had plastered itself to the roof of my mouth. Added to that, I was unable to form a single thought.
    At least not a coherent one.
    Our gazes tangled across the sofa and as we sat staring at each other, something passed between us that I didn’t entirely understand.
    I felt her shift , and her knee lightly brushed against my thigh.
    The warmth in that simple touch went a long way toward melting my resistance.
    In that moment I wondered how her creamy skin would feel against my body when I wrapped those long, gorgeous legs around my waist and made love to her over and over again.
    Finally, I expelled a breath I hadn’t realize I’d been holding. “Do you really want to do this?”
    A nervous tick pulled at her mouth. “I do.” 
    I paused to study my