Free Most men can't make it through even five words of what I'm about to tell you by Nicole Carlson Page B

place."
    "I have?"
    "Yep. You're about to invite me in."
    "You already searched it."
    "I didn't know what I was looking for then."
    "Do you now? What do you think you're going to find in here, detective?"
    "Answers."
    I slid in my house key and turned the doorknob, held it. I faced Falconer.
    "Okay, detective. Come on in. Tear the place apart. Cut open my mattress, sniff the little baggie of weed in my closet,
    crawl around under the floors. Take as long as you want. Then bring in an army and tear apart this town. Shine a spotlight
    into every shadow, peek behind every bush. Do it here, and in the next town over, and then the rest of the state. Fan out
    an army of men with flashlights and move shoulder-to shoulder across this country until you've studied and catalogued
    every square inch of the USA, and then the world. You go right ahead. Because if you could somehow put every single
    last corner of this universe under the microscope, right now, you stil wouldn't find the bearded guy who went into that
    shitter."
    I pushed the door open an inch, then faced him again.
    "And you wouldn't find Franky Burgess, either. Because I'm thinking that thing that took over Franky wanted to go back
    home. And I'm thinking nobody will ever see Franky again."
    I turned away from the detective. I pushed open the door, took one step inside, and came face to face with Franky
    Burgess.
    Franky opened his mouth. A thin stream of liquid squirted out as a greeting.
    I had the thought to throw up an arm to shield my face from whatever it was, but before the muscles could twitch into
    action there was a BANG and a blue-ish flash. I felt the ground hit me in the back. I stared at the sky, ears ringing,
    vaguely realizing that the stuff Franky was spitting had combusted in mid-air with enough force to knock me on my ass.
    I rol ed over, heard Falconer shouting police words at Franky, Falconer with an enormous stainless automatic in both
    hands. I couldn't help but notice how perfectly not-wounded Franky looked. Also, he seemed to have gained 30 pounds.
    Franky took a step toward Falconer and two gunshots shattered the air, back to back.
    Franky was unfazed. He jumped, flew forward through the air like Michael Jordan, and threw a forearm across Falconer's
    neck. Falconer went to his knees but held onto the gun. He jammed it into Franky's gut and pulled the trigger. Exit holes
    exploded out of the small of Franky's back, throwing bits of meat across the yard. Franky kept his feet.
    I saw movement behind me, turned to see John's "new" orange 1978 Cadillac Coupe Devil e skid to a stop behind
    Falconer's porsche. John flung himself out, sprinted toward me shouting, "YOUR KEY! I NEED YOUR SHED KEY!"
    I didn't have a chance to answer him. Shed key? What was he doing? Borrowing my lawnmower?
    Behind me I heard Falconer let out a frustrated, growling scream. I spun and saw Franky grab the detective around the
    base of the skull. He forced Falconer's head down to waist level, then turned his body away from him. Holding Falconer's
    face directly in front of his buttocks, Franky farted. Falconer collapsed to the leaves, as if dead.
    I heard running feet behind me and then my front door banging shut. John. I decided to follow him but before I could get to
    my feet, Franky was on me. He landed on me with all his weight, his legs straddling my chest.
    I looked right into his eyes, and saw the gaping stare of a terrified young man. He was hissing something at me, a whisper
    from deep in the throat. He leaned his face down close to mine, his hands clutching my shirt. I couldn't make out his
    words, choking sounds like an old man on a respirator. He leaned closer. I could smell his breath.
    "Help me! Help me! Nothing moves! Do you understand me?!?"
    "Franky! Can you hear me? Get off me!"
    "Listen, listen! Don't die! Don't die, man! Nothing moves! Don't ever die because nothing moves there!"
    Franky screamed. A long, segmented thing came out from his mouth, out from the