Free Disgrace by J. M. Coetzee

on his head like a dunce's hat. Against such an image, what chance has he?
              'Committee tight-lipped on verdict,' reads the headline. 'The disciplinary committee investigating charges of harassment and misconduct against Communications Professor David Lurie was tight-lipped yesterday on its verdict. Chair Manas Mathabane would say only that its findings have been forwarded to the Rector for action.
              'Sparring verbally with members of WAR after the hearing, Lurie (53) said he had found his experiences with women students "enriching".
              'Trouble first erupted when complaints against Lurie, an expert on romantic poetry, were filed by students in his classes.'
              He has a call at home from Mathabane. 'The committee has passed on its recommendation, David, and the Rector has asked me to get back to you one last time. He is prepared not to take extreme measures, he says, on condition that you issue a statement in your own person which will be satisfactory from our point of view as well as yours.'
              'Manas, we have been over that ground. I - '
              'Wait. Hear me out. I have a draft statement before me which would satisfy our requirements. It is quite short. May I read it to you?'
              'Read it.'
              Mathabane reads: 'I acknowledge without reservation serious abuses of the human rights of the complainant, as well as abuse of the authority delegated to me by the University. I sincerely apologize to both parties and accept whatever appropriate penalty may be imposed.'
              ' "Whatever appropriate penalty": what does that mean?'
              'My understanding is, you will not be dismissed. In all probability, you will be requested to take a leave of absence. Whether you eventually return to teaching duties will depend on yourself, and on the decision of your Dean and head of department.'
              'That is it? That is the package?'
              'That is my understanding. If you signify that you subscribe to the statement, which will have the status of a plea in mitigation, the Rector will be prepared to accept it in that spirit.'
              'In what spirit?'
              'A spirit of repentance.'
              'Manas, we went through the repentance business yesterday. I told you what I thought. I won't do it. I appeared before an officially constituted tribunal, before a branch of the law. Before that secular tribunal I pleaded guilty, a secular plea. That plea should suffice. Repentance is neither here nor there. Repentance belongs to another world, to another universe of discourse.'
              'You are confusing issues, David. You are not being instructed to repent. What goes on in your soul is dark to us, as members of what you call a secular tribunal if not as fellow human beings. You are being asked to issue a statement.'
              'I am being asked to issue an apology about which I may not be sincere?'
              'The criterion is not whether you are sincere. That is a matter, as I say, for your own conscience. The criterion is whether you are prepared to acknowledge your fault in a public manner and take steps to remedy it.'
              'Now we are truly splitting hairs. You charged me, and I pleaded guilty to the charges. That is all you need from me.'
              'No. We want more. Not a great deal more, but more. I hope you can see your way clear to giving us that.'
              'Sorry, I can't.'
              'David, I can't go on protecting you from yourself. I am tired of it, and so is the rest of the committee. Do you want time to rethink?'
              'No.'
              'Very well. Then I can only say, you will be hearing from the Rector.'

SEVEN
    ONCE HE HAS made up his mind to leave, there is little to hold him back. He clears out the refrigerator, locks