Free Disarranged by Sara Wolf Page A

to stop caring. So what if he's here? He's not my father anymore - he's just a guy who used me to clear off his debts and save his own skin.
    I watch the SUV for a moment longer. Farlon gets out. He looks old as ever - hair graying even more and his face lined with sour, repressed bitterness. We lock eyes from across the parking lot, but I don't bother giving him the pleasure of a staring contest. He's not worth my time. I let him know that by scoffing and turning back into the lodge.
    Just as I head back to the room, I feel a vice grip on my arm. I turn to see Grace, frowning and glaring, with her hand on my arm.
    "He's here," she says.
    "I know. I just saw him. But how do you -"
    "He texted me." She holds up her phone. "Why would he even be here?"
    "I don't know," I say, relishing the first real conversation we've shared in a while. The one at dinner with Rose didn't count - she was just putting on a pleasant show for Rose's sake. But now she's showing her real self to me, the self that hates my guts but tolerates me because I'm still family.
    "This stinks of some kind of plan," She growls. "He never goes anywhere without an intent to mess things up."
    I bite my tongue. Grace is sharp. Kiera and Farlon were the masterminds behind the marrying thing. They coordinated everything. If they are working together now, what could they possibly want?
    "I'll ask Kiera," I murmur.
    "What?" Grace snaps. "Ask her about what? Why Farlon's here? Why would she know? She doesn’t even know him all that well."
    Shit. I shrug and try to play it cool.
    "It's fine, don't worry about it."
    "It's not fine, Lee! You know something and you aren't telling me! I'm part of this family too!"
    "I know you are, Grace, but I promise there's nothing -"
    "Goddamnit, Lee!" She stamps her foot. "You're my brother! You're my brother and I care about you! If Farlon's doing something -"
    "Just stay out of it," I say softly. "Please."
    "I can't! You have to tell me -"
    "I don't have to tell you every little thing that's going on in my life, Grace, and you don't have to pretend to care. We aren't twelve anymore."
    Her face goes from furious to distraught in less than a second. She looks like I've hit her, hard, her breathing shallow and her eyes more wounded than I've ever seen them. I've done something wrong. I've hurt her, but not as much as Kiera could hurt her. I've hurt her, and now she'll pull away from me. Pull away from Kiera ever getting the chance to hurt her in real, terrible, irreversible ways.
    And then I put the acid cherry on top of it all. I make the brutal coup d’état.
    I turn and walk away.
    I don't ball my fist until I turn the corner and she can't see me anymore. Anger and sadness swirl around just behind my eyes. I focus on the window, the snowscape outside of it, a blanket of white that seems to go on forever. Outside, in the snow, Rose talks animatedly with Felix. Morgan isn't anywhere to be seen.
    I feel my fist tighten. Rose flashes a tentative smile at Felix, and something in my chest shrivels up. She used to smile at me like that.
    Maybe she never will again.
    And then I feel another emotion broil up in me. Something I haven't felt since I saw her outside my apartment building with that other guy when I gave her the invitation.
    Jealousy.
    It's dark and burning and like nothing I've ever felt before. It's worse than when I saw her with that guy months earlier. It's irrational and it's stupid - I don't even deserve to feel any jealousy over her. I more or less dumped her to marry someone else. What kind of asshole am I?
    I watch Rose ski down the hill, smiling the whole way.
    I'm the kind of asshole who's still in love with a girl who might never forgive me.
     
    ***
    ROSE
    ***
     
    "You're actually pretty good for a sun girl," Felix says as he skis down the hill and comes to a stop beside me.
    "Sun girl?" I pant, pulling my scarf down to talk more clearly.
    "You know, beach girls. That's the kind of girl that lives in like,