Free Beautiful Pain by Joanna Mazurkiewicz Page B

self.
     
    Roger pulled up in front of an obscure house, he smiled and glanced outside. Harry knew that he was checking that there weren’t any cubs around. Finally after a long moment he said, “Come on ladies, it’s time to make some money”
     

 

     
    Chapter Ten

     

     
    Sophia couldn’t believe that she saw Mason again, and this time she couldn’t fob him off with any excuse. She had to give him her number. It was bad enough that Mason had seen Harry on the street with her. When Harry left her alone she was relieved. Mason rang her as soon as she got home and asked her out. She felt that she had to say yes, besides she’d brought this on herself. Later on she thought that she should have just told him that she wasn’t ready for dating.
     
    “ Are you kidding me, you met him again?” asked Vanessa with disbelief when Sophia told her briefly about her eventful afternoon.
     
    “ Yes, I have. I couldn’t believe it when I saw him on the street,” she admitted.
     
    “ So, did he ask for your number?”
     
    “ Even better, I am going for a date with him tomorrow,” replied Sophia, smiling.
     
    “ Fantastic, so my Sophia is finally going on a proper date,” she beamed. “As far as I remember he looked like a decent bloke. Imagine if he is the one that you will have sex with?”
     
    “ Wow, don’t get ahead of yourself, we are going for a date that’s all. I haven’t even decided if I like him enough,” she mumbled, feeling that her anxiety was coming back. Vanessa rolled her eyes and picked up an apple from the fruit bowl.
     
    “ Shut up! Just go out enjoy yourself and see where this new romance will take you. Mason is cute, so make sure that your first date ends with a kiss. He is going to expect that.” Vanessa grinned.“You know tongues and all!”
     
    Smiling, Sophia shook her head. “Don’t worry. I will tell you all about it!”
     
    “ Great, I will be back after twelve,” added Vanessa, grabbing her bag. She thought about what Vanessa said and felt uneasy. She hadn’t thought about kissing Mason. He was still a stranger and she hasn’t kissed anyone since she was sixteen. For now she waved that idea away, wondering about what she was going to have for supper. She had all day to think about her date. She left the room and checked her phone. She felt like a bucket of ice cascaded into her stomach when she saw three missed calls from her mother. The dark thoughts started to embrace her mind, panic and anxiety rushed through her body. She thought about the long knife that was in the kitchen drawer.
     

     
    I’d had enough of my life. Today at school Kevin laughed at my French accent. Then I had to face my mother at home. Recently my grades have slipped off, even the tutorials from Mr. Nicholson aren’t helping me anymore.
     
    It’s Friday night and I wasn’t invited to one of Lindesay’s parties, she said that I wasn’t cool enough, but everyone else that I knew was going.
     
    When I walked home this afternoon I got soaked, and my stomach was hurting because I haven’t eaten anything since yesterday. My father has been shouting at me all afternoon, he keeps saying that he’d spent fortune on me and I didn’t appreciate anything. I was slowly drowning again; my breaths were shallow when I got home. My mother wasn’t there yet so I went to my room straight away. My chest and my limbs felt heavy. I wasn’t in control anymore. The tiny voice in my head was telling me that I had to end this.
     
    I looked under the bed and took out my special box. Inside there were small knives that I have been collecting through the year. My favourite one was the pink one that I bought from the Asian couple in East London. It was incredibly sharp. My body was drenched with sweat and I was shaking. I didn’t have to hesitate because the pressure was making me nauseous.
     
    I took my trousers off and sat down on the floor, looking at my scarred skin. I was proud of all those long,