Free Deadly Relations: Bester Ascendant by J. Gregory Keyes

together. And in all of those weaving lines, in the subtle word-and-image play, in the shared secrets and emotion, there was not a single empty space. They were full, complete, a living organism.
    There was no place or need for Al Bester. It’s always going to be like this, he thought. Me, out here, in the dark. Sometimes I can look into a window; see people in love, see people with friends. But I’ll always be out here. He also realized that it was okay. One had to be stronger out here. His allegiance to the Corps could remain untainted. How could he really protect and serve all humanity if he went in there, inside? If he loved anyone - if anyone loved him - it would only serve to weaken him.
    If he were a part of their tapestry, of their song, their power to betray him would be almost infinite. But they were beautiful. He would protect them - Julia, Milla, yes, even Brett. He would protect all of them, all of his people. But to do that, he had to be what he had been tonight. Stone.
    Antoine couldn’t have hurt stone. Julia couldn’t have hurt stone. I’m glad I feel this way. I’m glad to admit it’s over. But he did have a question to ask.
    “That must have been some walk,” Julia said the next morning, as they packed up the camp.
    “You didn’t come in until we were all asleep.”
    “I was just-thinking,” Al told her. He took a deep breath.
    “And wondering.”
    “About what?”
    “About why you asked me along on this trip.”
    “Because you’re our friend, Al. Because we miss you.”
    He paused.
    “I don’t think that’s the truth. Won’t you tell me the truth?”
    She wouldn’t meet his gaze.
    “I… Al, we were worried about you…”
    “Your professors are worried about you. They don’t think you have any friends. And you didn’t stay in touch with us…”
    “You didn’t stay in touch with me,” he corrected.
    “Al, you never liked us. We never thought you did. We thought you were happy to be away from us. But the teachers worried, and…”
    “…and they asked you to do something with me. You bumped into me on purpose, didn’t you?” She nodded.
    “Are you angry?”
    “No.”
    It was the truth - he didn’t feel angry at all.
    “No, I’m grateful. I used to wont’ about having friends - everyone else seems to. Sometimes I think it would be nice to have people to talk to…”
    He broke off, remembering watching them the night before, remembering also the stolen feel of Julia’s lips.
    “Anyway, I don’t care about that anymore. I’m over it. And you can tell the teachers not to worry.”
    “Al…”
    “It’s okay, Julia. Thanks for asking me along. I’ve learned a lot.”
    He didn’t speak anymore on the trip down the mountain, and after a while nobody really tried to speak to him.
    When they reached the train station at St. Gervais, he poke his silence to say that he would buy their tickets if they wanted to grab some lunch at the restaurant on the corner, and he would join them there. They accepted the offer, he knew they would talk, and Julia would tell them everything he had said He didn’t really care.
    The line was surprisingly long, but he supposed it was Sunday-there must be a lot of people returning from the country. Surrounded by Normals, he felt a little dirty. He almost imagined that they smelled different, earthier. He caught an older woman in a black shirt buttoned to the top staring at his clothes, her distaste undisguised by what, a moment before, he had taken for pleasant features.
    A dark, rotund man, who had also taken note of him, wore a stonier expression. Al returned the old woman’s gaze, narrowed his eyes, then smiled faintly, nodding as if to himself. She reddened and looked away. He had not scanned her-not even touched her surface thoughts-but he let her wonder about that, about what dirty little secret he might have uncovered.
    He found himself slightly cheered by this. He was three back in the line now, and the longhaired woman buying