Free Different Loving: The World of Sexual Dominance and Submission by Gloria G. Brame, William D. Brame, Jon Jacobs

a phenomenal woman whose basic attitude toward sex is that when sex is good, it’s great, and when it’s lousy,it’s not too bad. She and my father brought me up without the guilt so often associated with sex, so I have been able to enjoy my sex life. I do [have] a lot of recreational sex, but I realize and appreciate the difference between that and a warm, loving relationship. I’ve been married twice; at one point in my life I was living with five women at a time; at other points in my life I’ve had single, monogamous relationships. I’ve run the gamut. The relationships are what stick out in my mind more than the scenes.
    I’m very much a hedonist. Any kind of D&S scenes that I get into are strictly a form of fantasy foreplay. The point of the entire scene is still sex [not] as a substitute for sex. I have many nonfetish-oriented relationships which I enjoy entirely. I’m strictly dominant, but I’ve had long-lasting relationships with dominant women [in which we] hung our whips on the door outside the bedroom.
    D&S is a part of my life, but I can walk away from it tomorrow … at least for a week. It’s the old saw: Nobody wants to eat steak every night of the week. I tend to be attracted to women who are independent outside of the bedroom, so sometimes that can cause a lot of sparks; but I’ve had relationships that [were] totally slave-master 100 percent in every detail.
    When I was young, there was only one thing on my mind: getting laid. I can’t [say] exactly when my D&S interest began. It would have to be after I got into the sex business. [As] a professional photographer and cinematographer specializing in the adult field, I started getting hired to shoot this stuff. It interested me, and [if] something interests me, I will experiment with it. I found that I enjoyed it. I’m much more into B&D or D&S rather than S&M. It is part of my personality—the same part that makes me want to be a film director. I like to control emotions. When I make a film, I am, by definition, controlling an entire audience’s emotions, and I carry that same feeling into the bedroom. Controlling a woman’s emotions gives me the same kind of thrill, and pushes the same buttons in my psyche. I’m [also] very pushy, and tend to be opinionated, loud, and forceful outside of the bedroom, so it tends to carry over.
    I enjoy bondage, leather, spanking, straight sex. I can get into a lot of different things, depending on the partner I’m with. I’m not into pain, but I have gone into heavy scenes with partners who, because they were so turned on by it, brought me past the point I would normally stop.
    The real nature of S&M was driven home to me about 15 years ago. I was doing a movie called
House of Sin
. There was an S&M scene [with] a mistress and her slave, who were, in real life, living together. She had him on the floor, with his hands tied behind him. She had a dog chain wrapped around his cock and balls and was lifting him off the floor by his cock and balls and smacking him across the nuts, hard enough so that every guy in theroom had his legs crossed. Two things stuck in my mind: First, that while this was happening, this guy had an incredible erection, and two, as soon as I yelled, “Cut!” he immediately started to bitch and moan about the fact that he was lying on a hardwood floor and didn’t have a pillow behind his head. At that moment I realized that what she was doing to his genitals was not painful; the little bit of pressure on the back of his head, that’s what his brain was interpreting as pain. But the hard pressure of her hand coming in contact with his nuts was erotically stimulating. I realized that in S&M, if it’s painful, you’re doing it wrong.
    The body feels stimulation; the mind interprets [it]. The way that the mind interprets it determines whether it’s pleasure or pain. Who knows what determines that—probably a combination of what determines everything in this life: heredity,