Free Textastrophe: A Collection of Hilariously Catastrophic Text Pranks by Matt Andrews

who live in the house.
    Man I’m so lost right now.
    Listen man. I’ve been cooped up in this tree house for like 2 weeks now.
    You gotta help me out
    You don’t actually live there?
    Yes I do
    Well, I don’t live in the house, per se.
    But I feel like I’m comfortable enough to call the treehouse “my home”.
    Are you messing with me?
    Do the people in the house know you’re in there?
    Of course!
    Well, their 8-year old son does.
    He’s the one who’s been sneaking me food.
    This is ridiculous.
    I want no part of this.
    C’mon man. I’m getting bored up here.
    I need something to entertain me.
    Up to this point, I’ve just been catching glimpses of “The King of Queens” through the patio door but I can’t hear a thing.
    You know how tough it is to watch a sitcom and not get to hear the jokes?
    It’s absolute torture.
    If you’re being serious, I want nothing to do with this.
    That’s so illegal.
    Ryan, It’s only illegal if they know about it.
    Besides, I thought you were looking for some extra cash?
    Yea but I’m not doing that!
    Well can you at least bring me some food?
    Like I said earlier, the kid told me he’d bring up some food, but so far all he brought me was an old bag of candy canes.
    You’re on your own.
    Help me out Ryan.
    Man can’t survive on candy canes alone!

 
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TEXTASTROPHE . Copyright © 2015 by Matt Andrews.
All rights reserved. Printed in China. For information, address
St. Martin’s Press, 175 Fifth Avenue, New York, N.Y. 10010.
    www.stmartins.com
    Designed by Jonathan Bennett
    Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data
    Andrews, Matt, 1972 February 15-
    Textastrophe: a collection of hilariously catastrophic text pranks / Matt Andrews.
          p. cm.
    ISBN 978-1-250-05140-0 (trade paperback)
    eISBN: 978-1-4668-5208-2
    1. Text messaging (Cell phone systems)—Humor. I. Title.
    PN6231.T565A53 2015
    818’.60208—dc23
                                                    2014034029
    eBooks may be purchased for business or promotional use. For information on bulk purchases, please contact Macmillan Corporate and Premium Sales Department by writing to [email protected] .
    First Edition: February 2015
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