Free Beyond Heaven's River by Greg Bear Page B

made.”
“Yes — and you’ve found an excuse to keep us down here for another three weeks. Think the CO likes being delayed?”
Elvox stood in the cramped quarters and stretched. “We can help Kawashita readjust. We shouldn’t just leave it to Anna and her crew.”
“Why bother? This planet’s stripped — worthless.”
“I’m not so sure of that.” He frowned and rubbed his head. “Call it a gut feeling.”
“I call it being lovesick. She’s got you right where she wants you. Let’s up-ship and go to a righteous liberty, for Christ’s sake — not this blasted billiard ball. You’re the only one getting —”
“Goddammit, Tivvers, I’m your superior officer!”
Tivvers grinned sardonically. “Not that you’d notice by your actions.”
“If you see me slacking, report it to the CO,” Elvox said, bristling. He raised his hand and swept it to indicate the USC shuttle. “This is my command, and my decisions stand.”
“She’s using you.”
“She is Anna Sigrid Nestor. She could have her pick of any man, and if she is settling for me, doesn’t that mean something?”
“What?”
Elvox backed away and shrugged.
“She’s got you bad, doesn’t she? How the hell could you let this happen to yourself?”
“I’m a fool, I suppose,” Elvox said blankly.
“What about that planet you come from, with all the zealots. Didn’t any of their sense get through to you?”
Elvox rubbed his eyes and laughed. “Sense? Tivvers, they were Baptists and three or four other kinds of fool. They schismed from the lot that colonized God-Does-Battle, but they have the same goal — to bring Christian heaven down to Earth. Well, they couldn’t have Earth, so they settled for Ichthys. Their idea of heaven doesn’t include a rational approach to worldly things. God’s kingdom is ruled by a line of patriarchs. That’s what I grew up with, not sense. It was fine when I was a boy, but when the world started explaining itself to me through my gonads, it became hell. I thought I was a sex maniac, that my family would disown me. Well, I grew out of that but not completely. Not yet. I can’t reject what I’ve been taught since I was a child.”
“Then why is she getting to you?”
“Her attitude. She’s so free and loving.”
“Dross, pure dross. She’s a businesswoman. She’s using you for all you’re worth.”
For a moment Elvox seemed to be considering that. Then he shook his head. “No, she’s helping me to grow up. She’s not the first woman I’ve had, not by a long shot. But —”
“She’s got you, all right.”
“I will not give her up easily! I feel like I’m willing to give everything to her.”
“Concessions.”
Elvox shook his head. “You’re a block of ice, Tivvers.”
“No, I’m an officer, and I’m your friend. This is going to cook your career if it goes any further.”
Elvox pushed past the unterloytnant and took the ladder down to the equipment bay. Tivvers followed, keeping quiet, trying to figure out what he was up to.
“I’m going to her ship,” he said.
“You’ve been staying here off and on to keep up appearances, right?” Tivvers said. Elvox didn’t answer.
On the concrete, walking to Nestor’s shuttle, he felt a sudden dislike for Kawashita. He envied the Japanese and his immediate access to Nestor. They were all so concerned with Kawashita, but he was little more than a freak.
Elvox shook his head vigorously. They’d have to leave soon. He’d have to make his decision. Nestor would take the Japanese to Earth for a visit, fulfilling her obligations as a guide and tutor. And Elvox? He couldn’t stand the thought of returning to normal duty. But lately the idea of joining Anna’s crew had seemed — as Tivvers would undoubtedly comment if he knew — a bit off the beam.
The last few days she had seemed more reluctant, preoccupied. Was that because of Kawashita? His thoughts were jumbled. Separation. Disgrace. Disgust. What the hell was he doing?
His bubble