Free Handle With Care by Josephine Myles Page B

had the idea of trying the kidney wards.”
    “Not just a pretty face, are you?”
    Ollie grinned. “Nah, the rest of me’s pretty too. You’ll find out soon enough.”
    “I hope you’re not expecting any action right now. I’ll be out of order for a while.”
    “Bummer.” Ollie’s face fell, but then changed again as a new idea flitted through his brain. It was making me tired just watching him. I wondered what it must be like to experience life as a constant flicker of new emotions and ideas.
    He pulled a packet of Malteasers out of his pocket. “Sorry, d’you mind if I have something to eat? Couldn’t manage any breakfast, I was so worried.”
    I fought back the paternal urge to lecture him on how chocolates weren’t a proper breakfast and settled instead for watching him pop the Malteasers into his mouth one by one. If I was lucky, I’d get a few spoonfuls of mashed potato and apple sauce later. I wondered if I’d enjoy them the way Ollie was relishing his chocolate.
    “Nice room you’ve got here,” he said around a mouthful of chocolate.
    “It’s okay.” To be honest, I hadn’t noticed anything about it, being too wrapped up in my own head, but I looked around to try and work out whether Ollie was simply making polite conversation. It had all the usual hospital equipment attached to the walls, but at least they were a restful mauve, and the tall window let out onto a courtyard with a large bronze sculpture in the centre. I wondered how long it would be before I was turfed out of here and onto a ward.
    When Ollie had finished, he screwed up the wrapper, shoved it back in his pocket and gave me a long stare.
    “You said you thought I was dead.”
    “Oh, uh, yeah.” It seemed so silly now, to have leapt to that assumption. “I thought you must have had an accident, when you didn’t phone.”
    “Jesus, I thought I was the drama queen.”
    “Hey, I was on some pretty strong medication.” I wasn’t about to tell him that the last time I’d had a blowjob, the guy had died shortly afterwards. He didn’t need to know all my dark secrets.
    “Yeah, I guess that could screw with your thinking.” Ollie glanced around the room. “Where’s your sister? Thought she’d be here with you.”
    “She was. She’s getting some rest.” I thought back to Zoe’s objections to Ollie. “How old are you, anyway?”
    Ollie gave a sheepish grin. “I’ll be twenty-one next month, but I still get ID-d all the time.”
    70
     
    “So you’re twenty?” It was better than it could have been, I suppose. I mentally calculated the difference in our ages, wondering if it was enough to be accused of cradle-snatching.
    “You’re thinking you’re too old for me now, aren’t you?” He said it with a teasing smile, but I flushed with guilt.
    “I’m thirty-three,” I protested. Not quite old enough to be his dad, perhaps, but close to it. I’d been as good as a dad to Zoe, after all, and she was a year older than him.
    Ollie didn’t seem remotely bothered, though. He gave me a sunny grin that made my heart want to somersault, although it decided not to in deference to my battered insides and settled for a celebratory wiggle.
    “I like that about you,” he said. “You’re so much more mature than my last boyfriend was. You treat me with respect. Take things slow. All he ever wanted me to do was bend over for him.” He pursed his lips in a moue. “And do the dishes.”
    Could it be true? Could it be that the very thing I’d been cursing these last few years—my physical decline and loss of libido—had been part of what drew Ollie to me? What led him to seduce me? I looked down at my abdomen with a mix of nostalgia and regret. There wouldn’t be any seducing going on for a while, that was for sure. I had some serious healing to do first. I’d just better hope he was still into me when I was all healthy and catheter-free again.
    Ollie’s smile broke out again. “I was a bit late yesterday, anyway,”