paper!”
“Well, now who's being Queen Bitch?”
He’s never used language like that with anyone before. But Donovan's words are not nearly as painful as the spikes shooting from his eyes that vividly scream he feels I'm the most revolting thing on the planet. Unable to deal with any more insults, or yet another melt down, walking away seems the best solution.
“Lily, wait—” He sounds regretful as he clutches my arm to stop me. He damn well should.
“Oh, are you going to fight me now? Why not? You've fought practically everyone else. Actually, save it until tomorrow so you can finally finish pushing the envelope and get expelled. You can lose your scholarship and be stuck home all the time. Then Lisa can start coming over on the weekday afternoons too, just like your little session on Saturday.”
“We didn't know you were home. Lisa never would have left my room like that if—”
“Just shut up! I think you've rubbed her in my face sufficiently. It's pitiful how you think you have to hide behind a girl you can't even pretend to love just to get me to go away. Once more, from the look on her face, I'm guessing you never finished the job. You're pathetic.”
My emotions are a ticking time bomb that's about to go off at any second. How dare Donovan suddenly announce he's leaving for college summer classes the day after graduation, which is tomorrow! Barring immediate clarifying conversation he's leaving me hanging without resolution to the problems that plague us. That filthy bastard!
“Hey, can you turn down the volume on the freak out?”
Donovan's bitchily complaining because I'm making an utter racket while furiously cleaning the house. I really don't give a crap who hears. But now that I have his attention, I'm ready to roar.
“Excuse me?”
“You've been in the foulest of moods lately. What's the deal?” he sneers as he runs his eyes down my body.
“Foulest of moods? Well, at least your vocabulary has improved. That's quite a jump for you.”
“What the?” He repeats the snooty look he gave a moment ago. His personal lexicon may be upgrading, but his range of body language still requires work.
“You want to know? I'll tell you, but I can’t possibly believe that you're so stupid you haven't figured this out yourself. You and I used to be so incredibly close.”
He changes his tone for fear of what I may say aloud. “Lily! Please lower your voice!”
Screw him! My amplitude continues. “All of our lives we were always there for each other, no matter what happened.”
“Lily, I'm begging you. Please, please stop. At least yell at me quietly.”
Forcing out a huffed release of air, my squinting face continues discreetly without losing my drive. “One day, things changed in a rather unorthodox way, and you didn’t seem to mind at all. Then, suddenly, you became a distant, self-serving asshole. It's bad enough you wouldn't talk to me about the changes I thought we were both experiencing, but now you never talk to me about anything. So can you at least tell me if you're totally repulsed by my feelings? You have to see what I'm confronting. So many times it seems you feel the same way, but you won’t say anything outright. I still catch you fixated on me, and I have to tell you it doesn't exactly feel like you're turned off—and now you're running away from me.”
His eyes shut with a hesitant swallow. “How did I ever let this happen?” he whispers before addressing me. “I’m not repulsed, but you're right. I am running.”
“Then why won’t you talk to me? We've always talked about everything. Crap, Donovan, you've told me some serious secrets and several have to be far more embarrassing than anything you're holding back now. Damn it! Everything else aside I miss my best friend!”
Fumbling for words he looks at the ground, the ceiling, out the window. Finally he speaks, his voice laced with resignation. “Lily, you're right. You know me better than anyone else