Free Just Breathe by Heather Allen Page B

brings our load of supplies down from the car and strips down to his swim trunks. He walks in and comes face to face with me. His smile is as intoxicating as the water I'm in. Then I feel his hands around my waist and he lowers his mouth so that our lips touch gently. At first just a gentle graze then he kisses me harder. Definitely not like last night… this one lasts a long time and I feel electricity everywhere coming up through my toes and down through my lips. I could lose myself right here and now. I can’t imagine anything ever better than this. His lips are so soft and searching as if we just can’t have any space between us. We finally part for air. His eyes are so blue I think I can see through them….no they look just like the water we are standing in, so pure.
     
    He asks, “Are you alright?”
     
    Somehow I know that he knows already that I am more than fine, but I nod with a smile and say, “Let’s swim.”
    We swim and play in the waves for a couple of hours. Then we lie out on the towels and dig into our picnic. I packed so many things not knowing what Jack prefers. He eats a little of everything, so I guess he’s pretty easy to please.
     
    I claim, “If I would have known about this big, blue glorious place, I would have come a lot sooner.”
     
    He smiles and tells me, “Now is the perfect time, I’m glad I could share your first visit with you.”
     
    I grin and lean back, savoring the warmth of the sun feeling like now is a good time to tackle the task at hand.
     
    I start, “Jack, I still have a lot of questions.”
     
    He nods and glances out at the water, “I know Ever, and I am going to answer every one of them to the best of my ability.”
     
    He averts his eyes to meet mine, “Just know first, that you aren’t going to like all of my answers, and second I am answering them against my better judgment because I shouldn’t be answering them.”
     
    So cryptic again .
     
    Okay here goes, “My first question is really about this connection we have, why do we have this and why does it cause all kinds of electricity and warmth when we touch?”
     
    He looks sad at this point, that’s the last thing I wanted on this amazing day. Before he can answer I ask, “Why are you so sad?”
     
    He looks at me and takes a deep breath and grabs my hand, “Ever, the
    connection we have, unfortunately, I can’t explain, but I think it is wonderful. The way I feel about you is just... I have never felt like this before, about anyone.”
     
    He shakes his head and says, “Things are really a lot bigger than us.”
     
    He looks away staring out at the water.
     
    I ask confused, “What do you mean things?”
     
    He turns to stare at me and says nothing.
     
    I can feel my temper rising so I tell him, “Look, Jack, if you don’t want to answer my questions fine, but I don’t think it’s fair that I have told you a lot about myself and I know almost nothing about you.”
    His eyes meet mine and I can see the torment and green. I start to stand up, this is
    really frustrating, and I am losing my patience for his moodiness.
     
    He grabs my hand and pleads, “Wait.”
     
    I feel the warmth that gets me every time and look down, “Am I going to get some answers or should we head back home?”
     
    He decides, “Yes, I’ll tell you as much as I can.”
     
    He pats the towel beside him. I sit back down and cross my arms. He better not touch me, I’m not falling for it anymore.
     
    He starts again, “Well for you and your brother, eighteen is a big birthday.”
     
    I’ve heard that one before, Gam-aw keeps saying the same thing.
     
    “When you turn eighteen you have a decision to make that can lead your life in two very different directions.”
     
    I look up and ask, “Okay, obviously you know I will be eighteen in less than a month, what does this have to do with you and me?”
     
    I can tell he is getting uneasy because he doesn’t answer right away and he glances out to