Free Fashionably Dead in Diapers by Robyn Peterman
Authors: Robyn Peterman
mate's hand. "And we will kill every motherfucker that tries to stop us. Deal?"
Ethan looked at me. His love for me and Samuel was fierce and his pain radiated off of him in waves. "Yes, my love…it's a deal."
"I'll take you," The Kev said. "We will leave at nightfall. Call on the rest of the True Immortals. I'm calling in some favors. Get them here within the hour."
"Done," I said.
Half of my heart was gone, but focusing on a task was the only way I was going to survive. Moment to moment was how I would roll. My son needed me and I was going to bring him home…or die trying.
Chapter 7
Just remember the Fairies from fairytales are nothing like the real thing. In fact, it is recommended that parents avoid stories with Fairies in them all together. They are very attractive, violent, selfish, reality TV obsessed freaks. They are nothing like Tinkerbell. We would not want to give our children the wrong idea…
"You want me to go to Hell ?" Gemma gasped as she stared daggers at The Kev.
"Yes, I do," The Kev said cautiously.
The mood in the ballroom was somber but the tension was thick. Ethan paced in agitation and The Kev backed slowly away from Gemma. Immortals of every variety peppered the room. Satan seemed to be the only one enjoying the ambience as he hummed a random tune. Everyone else sat silently and waited. As Gemma's ire mounted she began to shift to her dragon. Shit.
"Gemma, Hell's actually really nice. Well, not the Basement, but the main floor rocks. It looks a lot like Kentucky and you can play poker with Mr. Rogers," I said, trying to calm her before she became the size of an SUV and kneed The Kev's balls into his throat.
"You can stay in my bungalow," Dixie offered quickly. "It's much less creepy than the Dark Palace."
"I take offense to that," a pouty Satan said.
"Daddy, you know it's true. You have all kinds of shady Demons hanging out there, not to mention the soundtrack of Journey plays twenty-four seven," she said.
"Journey is the greatest band ever," Satan yelled and began to glow—a very bad sign.
Hells bells, we did not have time to witness a tantrum from the Devil over a band from the 1980s.
"Yep, Steven Perry is the fucking bomb and The Dark Palace is fabu in a garish, overblown, ostentatious, gaudy and colorful way," I said, hoping to calm the impending shitstorm. My Uncle Satan smiled and stopped glowing. Thank you, Cousin Jesus in a thong.
"She can come to Nirvana," Mother Nature offered grandly as her gossamer dress billowed around her, making her look like a deranged porcelain doll. "I can protect her. I'm wonderful at killing things."
"No," The Kev said firmly. "The only place Fairies won't go is Hell. She will be safest in Hell. Satan, I will owe you a favor in exchange for protecting my Queen." The Kev dropped to a knee before a delighted Satan and a shocked crowd.
"You really don't want to do that," Elijah, the Angel of Light, muttered as he watched The Kev in shock.
"Shut up, Angel," Satan snarled. "I'd be delighted for the most powerful Fairy in the universe to owe me a favor. You have my word. I will keep your Queen safe."
"And in return?" The Kev asked.
Satan paused thoughtfully. As the wheels of his diabolical mind turned, it was difficult to look away. "I'll get back to you on that," he purred.
The Kev was fucked, but he didn't seem to care one bit.
The scene in the ballroom held the same characters from the day before—except for Samuel. The atmosphere was grim and the furniture was still. I would have given anything to have blue skin at the moment.
"Who will go to Xanthia?" Hayden, the Angel of Death, asked.
"Ethan, The Kev and myself," I answered immediately. I noticed his surprised glance to Satan who shrugged.
"Darling," Mother Nature said, having also caught the exchanged look between the Devil and Angel of Death. "I think you should let Ethan and
Ethan looked at me. His love for me and Samuel was fierce and his pain radiated off of him in waves. "Yes, my love…it's a deal."
"I'll take you," The Kev said. "We will leave at nightfall. Call on the rest of the True Immortals. I'm calling in some favors. Get them here within the hour."
"Done," I said.
Half of my heart was gone, but focusing on a task was the only way I was going to survive. Moment to moment was how I would roll. My son needed me and I was going to bring him home…or die trying.
Chapter 7
Just remember the Fairies from fairytales are nothing like the real thing. In fact, it is recommended that parents avoid stories with Fairies in them all together. They are very attractive, violent, selfish, reality TV obsessed freaks. They are nothing like Tinkerbell. We would not want to give our children the wrong idea…
"You want me to go to Hell ?" Gemma gasped as she stared daggers at The Kev.
"Yes, I do," The Kev said cautiously.
The mood in the ballroom was somber but the tension was thick. Ethan paced in agitation and The Kev backed slowly away from Gemma. Immortals of every variety peppered the room. Satan seemed to be the only one enjoying the ambience as he hummed a random tune. Everyone else sat silently and waited. As Gemma's ire mounted she began to shift to her dragon. Shit.
"Gemma, Hell's actually really nice. Well, not the Basement, but the main floor rocks. It looks a lot like Kentucky and you can play poker with Mr. Rogers," I said, trying to calm her before she became the size of an SUV and kneed The Kev's balls into his throat.
"You can stay in my bungalow," Dixie offered quickly. "It's much less creepy than the Dark Palace."
"I take offense to that," a pouty Satan said.
"Daddy, you know it's true. You have all kinds of shady Demons hanging out there, not to mention the soundtrack of Journey plays twenty-four seven," she said.
"Journey is the greatest band ever," Satan yelled and began to glow—a very bad sign.
Hells bells, we did not have time to witness a tantrum from the Devil over a band from the 1980s.
"Yep, Steven Perry is the fucking bomb and The Dark Palace is fabu in a garish, overblown, ostentatious, gaudy and colorful way," I said, hoping to calm the impending shitstorm. My Uncle Satan smiled and stopped glowing. Thank you, Cousin Jesus in a thong.
"She can come to Nirvana," Mother Nature offered grandly as her gossamer dress billowed around her, making her look like a deranged porcelain doll. "I can protect her. I'm wonderful at killing things."
"No," The Kev said firmly. "The only place Fairies won't go is Hell. She will be safest in Hell. Satan, I will owe you a favor in exchange for protecting my Queen." The Kev dropped to a knee before a delighted Satan and a shocked crowd.
"You really don't want to do that," Elijah, the Angel of Light, muttered as he watched The Kev in shock.
"Shut up, Angel," Satan snarled. "I'd be delighted for the most powerful Fairy in the universe to owe me a favor. You have my word. I will keep your Queen safe."
"And in return?" The Kev asked.
Satan paused thoughtfully. As the wheels of his diabolical mind turned, it was difficult to look away. "I'll get back to you on that," he purred.
The Kev was fucked, but he didn't seem to care one bit.
The scene in the ballroom held the same characters from the day before—except for Samuel. The atmosphere was grim and the furniture was still. I would have given anything to have blue skin at the moment.
"Who will go to Xanthia?" Hayden, the Angel of Death, asked.
"Ethan, The Kev and myself," I answered immediately. I noticed his surprised glance to Satan who shrugged.
"Darling," Mother Nature said, having also caught the exchanged look between the Devil and Angel of Death. "I think you should let Ethan and
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