Free Drowning (Tears of Sin Series) by Rachel Firasek

sound whistling through his clenched teeth. “Oh, Alice. Don’t play. I’m not strong enough to resist all your dark.”
The old Alice curves into him. The new Alice wants a chance at happiness. “Then don’t.”
He fits his hips against mine. The growing bulge below his belt hits me in just the right place, but then again, he did have me on my toes. He leans forward; lashes lowered, mouth open, and a soft pant whispering against my face. I did this to him. Made him want me. Even if it was for my secrets.
His tongue flicks over his bottom lip, wetting it again until it shimmered. I glance up at him, snaring his gaze. Oh shit. He wants me in the way a man stranded in a desert wants water. If I wanted, I could reach out and stroke all that heat. I twist against his hold. This is too much. Too strong. Too deep for me.
He lowers his head, intent on capturing my mouth with those wet, shining lips. I tilt my face away, and his lips graze my cheek. His forehead drops against my temple. “What’s wrong?”
“No.”
My hands are instantly released, and he steps away. “I don’t understand. I thought that’s what you wanted.”
“It looks so good. You all brooding and sexy.” My body betrays me and jerks against him. “But I can’t. I have a world full of problems, and you don’t need someone like me. I’m a distraction, remember?” I’ll kill any hope he’s ever had of making it. Something will happen. My toxic plague of a life will fuck him over. “I hear your music. You’re going places, Seth. I’ll only fuck it up for you. And I don’t do sex on the run. Sorry.”
“So, it’s all or nothing. That’s what you’re saying.”
I nod. Could this be any more awkward and embarrassing? “I’m supposed to be working on not doing this. And you. You’re so freaking gorgeous. I forget a bit of my sanity, and I’m pretty sure that’s what you get your kicks from…breaking a woman down. I can’t be that woman. I don’t have enough left to give to someone like you.”
He releases my arms. Saying all that to him this close makes it all very personal. Probably more personal than a kiss would have been.
“You are so honest. What else is going through that head of yours?”
“You don’t want to know.” And I don’t want to tell him how excited his advances have left me. “I used to live a life where this fooling around would have been okay. I would have kissed those gorgeous lips. We would have groped each other…but that’s it. I would have left you standing here with a dick so hard you could slice cheese, and it wouldn’t have bothered me one bit. I would revel in the power from it.” I’m almost heaving as I try to get the warning out. “I’m really trying to not be that person. I want more for me.”
I’m not expecting his smile, but it lights up his face and makes him sparkle. “You are a breath. That’s for damn sure.” He backs away, adjusting the front of his jeans and sucking in a few deep breaths. “I would never make you do something you didn’t want, Alice. I respect that you’re trying to better yourself and your life. You and me, we aren’t much different.”
“I get that.”
Seth leans against the opposite side of the hall. “I feel like I should warn you. My brother will be all kinds of pissed later.”
I straighten my shirt and glance up. “Why’s that?”
His nostrils flare, and his eyes darken again. “Because you’re mine until I tell him otherwise.”
Wait. What? I thought we’d just discussed why this wasn’t a good idea. “Seth…I’m flattered, really. But what do you want with a scrawny, demented girl like me? You can have anybody. I’m scruffy. I have baggage the size of Texas, and I’ll probably never give you the intimacy you need. Ever.”
“How do you know what I need?”
“I see it. It burns in your eyes and blazes through your music. Hell, you even caress your sticks when you think no one’s watching.”
He leaves me standing by the door and crosses