Free The Prologue by Kassandra Kush Page A

long. “I do love you, Tony! I do!”
    There’s a crash as he sends one of the stools flying across the floor, and then he advances on me, trapping me against the counter, arms on either side of me. I shrink back away from him, close my eyes even as he grabs a fistful of my hair and pulls my head back so my face is turned up to him.
    “Look at me, Evie,” he growls, and I do so after he gives my hair another painful twist.
    I wonder if he can see any of the hatred I feel reflected in my eyes, or if he just sees the awful confusion I always feel about him, the equal pull of love and hatred, need and repulsion.
    “I’ll do it, if you leave me,” he says in a quiet voice, one that is eerily calm. It sends a chill down my spine and goose bumps break out on my arms, even though the kitchen is warm and I’m flushed with fear and anger.
    “Stop, Tony,” I say, in as calm a voice as I can manage. “I’m not going to leave you. Please, just stop.” Any fight I had in me is gone, because I know this look in his eyes, the frenzied, panicked look that has come over him. I just want the Tony back from earlier, the fun one that I love, not this one, who somehow knows just what to say to make me keep our secret, who knows how to scare me more than anything else in the world can.
    “I swear, I’ll do it,” he says in that calm voice. “If you ever tried to break up with me, Evie. If you say you don’t love me anymore, I’ll do it. I’ll get the gun, and I’ll kill myself. There’s no reason for me to live without you. So don’t ever leave me.”
    Tears are pricking my eyes, because his hands are trembling and I know that he’s completely serious. One time, when I really had tried to break it off, he had called me, and I’d heard nothing on the line but the sound of a gun cocking, over and over. I’d become a hysterical mess, and that was when I realized how trapped I truly was, that if I didn’t want to become a murderer, I had to stay with Tony, keep our secret. And keep it I have.
    “I’m not going to leave you,” I say, and I say it over and over. “I’ll never leave you. I love you. I’ll stay here with you, Tony. I won’t leave you.”
    Finally, he seems to come back to reality, as though this time he was the one that had floated away, and a saner look enters his eyes, which are bright with unshed tears of panic. Slowly, he lets go of my hair and takes a step back from me, and we’re both trembling, the air heavy with tension and emotion.
    “Don’t ever make me do that again,” Tony finally mutters. “You know I hate it when you make me scare you.”
    “I know,” I say, looking at the floor, sniffling hard to hold back my tears. “I’m sorry, Tony.”
    “And don’t ever scare me like that again,” he snaps. “If you’re going to try and break up with me, at least grow up and don’t tiptoe around it. And if you want to go to Stanford, I guess you can fucking do what you want. Don’t expect me to be able to come to your rescue all the time like I do now.”
    Without warning, the side of my face is stinging in pain, and I let out a little cry and cover it with the palm of my own hand. I look up at Tony, wishing I could do something crazy, like slap him right back. But I know that would cause him to go off the edge, to completely lose control. It would be like signing my own death warrant.
    Instead, I grit out between clenched teeth, “You said you were going to stop that.”
    “And you said you were going to try harder!” Tony shouts back right in my face. “Going to school across the country isn’t trying, Evie! I’m so tired of trying to help you, to fix you! I’m done with this!”
    He angrily stomps to the island and throws all his books into his bag, then jerks another stool to the floor, cussing violently. And then he’s gone, the front door slamming behind him, shaking the whole house. I wait for a moment, until I hear his tires squealing as he leaves, making sure he’s well