Free This is Living (Living #1.5) by Melody Dawn Page A

doing a lot of thinking about making some major changes in my career. With what happened at the hospital and a new baby coming, my priorities have shifted. Actually, I’ve been feeling this way for a while, but I didn’t want to give voice to it because if I did, then everything I’ve worked for would seem like it was for nothing.
    Now more than ever, the decision I’m contemplating feels right. Actually, I’m a little ashamed of myself for not seeing the impact my job has had on my marriage and family. I’ve been there for the big things, but I’ve missed out on a lot of the twins’ first two years of life.
    I’ve thought about talking to my dad about what I’m thinking since he was most likely in my shoes at one point or another early on in his career although actually I’m thinking Connor might be the best person to talk to.
    No, hell didn’t freeze over…I’m going to call my brother for advice. I’m kidding; I like to give him a hard time, but I can always count on him to tell me the truth.
    Over the last several years, I’ve watched him turn into a hardworking dad of 6 and he still always has time for him and Madison. It’s sort of ironic that he was the one competing for eligible bachelor status while I wanted a family. Yet the fact is he’s a much better husband and dad than I am.
    So with those thoughts running through my mind, I tap the screen on my phone for Connor’s number. I need to talk to him before Chloe comes back. She and my mom took Brendon and Braxton to the park to try and get rid of some of their excess energy from being cooped up for two days straight.
    The phone rings three times and right before I hang up, I hear, “So, are you done getting pampered by mom and Chloe?”
    It still hurts but I laugh anyway. “More like I’m being smothered to death. If I have my temperature taken one more time and have one more pill given to me, I’m going to run far far away.”
    “Yeah, it’s too bad you’re at mom and dad’s; you could have Chloe take care of you naked or in something see through.”’
    “I’ll be sure and tell Chloe your suggestion.”
    “Tell little bit I know she’s freaky; there’s no reason to be ashamed.”
    “I can only imagine that conversation. I’ll be sure and let you tell her that.”
    We shoot the breeze a little bit more and then I tell him that I have something important to talk to him about.
    Before I tell him what I’m contemplating, I ask him how he balances work, his kids, and still has time for Madison.
    Without stopping to think, he says, “Because they are number one in my life. And I make sure Maddie knows that. Sure, its tough work, but I keep one thing in mind. I can always make money or get another job; I can’t ever get another one of her or my kids.”
    His answer makes me feel like I’ve been sucker punched. I’ve been going about this all wrong. I thought if I was established in my career that I would always be able to take care of Chloe and my boys. Instead its taken me away from them.
    “What’s with all the introspection?”
    “I’ve had nothing but time to think while I’ve been sick and the more I think about what happened at the hospital with Chloe, I can see that I’ve let my job come between us. Not to mention, I’ve missed most of my boys’ first two years. I need to make a change.”
    “Are you talking about not being a doctor anymore?” Connor sounds shocked and I understand why; it’s all I’ve wanted for most of my life.
    “No, I still want that and I’ve worked too hard not to be one, but I’m thinking of changing from Emergency Medicine to another specialty…maybe Peds. Right now, it’s just a thought. I have to talk to the Chief and see if I even have the option of switching this late into my residency. I’m also thinking of taking some time off…maybe a leave of absence from my residency program.”
    Connor doesn’t say anything and I wonder if he thinks I’m making a mistake. Before I can ask