Free Our Song by Jordanna Fraiberg

magical powers, I’d erase all your memories of Derek O’Brien, just like this.” She reached over and palmed my head, giving it a gentle squeeze. “Zap!”
    I gave her a weak smile. But the truth was I didn’t
want
to forget about
him
. Just what happened.
    “Is that from Dr. Green?” Annie asked, pointing at the orange pamphlet poking out of my book.
    “Why?” I asked, pushing it further back into the pages of
Mrs. Dalloway
. The glossy paper it was printed on made me think of those giant orange traffic pylons that signaled danger.
    “Just curious,” she said, mimicking me from earlier as she hopped back down off the counter. “And you know, maybe talking to someone isn’t such a bad idea.”
    “Please, not you too.” I felt my back tense up. “And I
am
talking to someone,” I insisted.
    She gave me her trademark look, the one with the head tilt and the right eyebrow raise. “You know what I mean.”
    “I swear your parents have brainwashed you. Not everything needs to be talked to death.”
    “No pun intended, I assume?”
    “Maybe you should consider becoming a
comedienne
if this photography thing doesn’t work out for you.”
    “Maybe
you
should,” she teased back, laughing.
    “Sorry it’s taken me so long to check this place out,” I said, lingering by the door. It was a whole different world in here. It reminded me of being out in the garden at night, under the cover of darkness.
    “You’re forgiven.” Annie tugged on the earbuds that still dangled around my neck. “And you’re welcome here anytime,” she added. It was like she understood that I wanted to come back without my having to say it.
    As I made my way out of the basement, I felt both lighter and stronger than I had in weeks. Positive thoughts were cycling through my head when I got to the third floor. I rounded the corner and was almost at my locker when something stopped me dead in my tracks.
    Betsy stood with her back against Derek’s locker, her foot pressed into the mustard-colored metal door, accentuating her long, lean legs. Derek was facing her, running his fingers through her perfect blond hair. With his other hand, he gripped the bent knee that suggestively poked through a gaping tear in her skintight jeans. They were both laughing, lost in their own world.
    My arms went slack. My bag dropped to the floor.
How could this be happening?
    Derek stepped in closer. As his lips brushed up against hers, a biting chill ran through my veins. The song sped up in my head, playing at warp speed. The lyrics jumbled and overlapped until they were incomprehensible, just a bunch of gibberish. It felt like I’d been catapulted down the rabbit hole, where everything I’d always believed was turned upside down, where nothing made sense anymore.
    My legs felt wobbly, like I was fainting standing up. I couldn’t move or breathe or even feel my heart beat. All I could do was watch as their lips parted, as Derek reached for Betsy’s hand, as they walked down the hall in the opposite direction, away from me, like I didn’t exist.

CHAPTER 8
    “MRS. DALLOWAY SAID she would buy the flowers herself.”
    I re-read that first sentence at least ten times. I was incapable of focusing, even though the line was highlighted in pink with three exclamation points beside it, courtesy of my mother. Apparently she was already obsessed with flowers when she was a teenager. Her notes were scattered throughout the book, next to doodles of misshapen hearts with things like
MC + HB Forever
scribbled inside them. Those were my parents’ initials. They’d been together since they were fifteen. My mother’s handwriting was different back then, all squiggly and loose, like a schoolgirl in love. I wondered when it had changed, when it had become so exact and formal the way it was now, and if it meant that her feelings for my dad had changed, too.
    I used to think that love lasted forever. Now I knew that wasn’t true.
    Every time I closed my eyes, I saw