Free Angel Eyes by Eric Van Lustbader

was he taken from us? Your mother says it's God's will. Well, if that's so, then God's an unforgivably cruel and capricious creature."
    Now Tori felt the words coming; she could not help herself. "So that is what you think I've done with my life: nothing. Well, I'm not what you wanted me to be, an astronaut, stretching the envelope of space. I'm not like Greg. You trained him; he wanted to be just what you wanted him to be. It was the perfect union of generations. You were so proud of him. You understood what motivated him; Greg was like an open book to you. But you couldn't fathom why on earth I would want to go to Japan to study. Of course you couldn't. You've spent all your adult life here in L.A., in many ways as far from global politics and economics as Fiji. This is the original land of Nod, and you built yourself Diana's Garden, a dream within the dreamland of L.A. Is it any wonder that yon have no conception of what makes me tick? 'Japan,' I remember you saying. 'What the hell could be so damn important in Japan?' You never understood. You never wanted to." She shook her head. "I must be such a disappointment to you."
    Her father was studying the last of the sunlight as it slid down the folds of Diana's stone robe. He had that faraway look on his face he sometimes had during long meetings at the office, as if he were there only in body, not in spirit. It was a sad look, as well, so similar to the one she had caught in the corners of Greg's face now and again when he was sure no one was watching him.
    Tori put her head down. Too late she remembered her promise to her mother not to start a fight with her father. What did it matter? she thought. This isn't about me or my father-it never was. It's about Greg. It's always been about Greg, and there's nothing I can say or do that will ever change it. As she let the silence of the encroaching evening steal up on them, she was aware of a great sadness welling up inside her. She recognized that she was angry at her father, but also at herself for letting him get to her again and again.
    She said, after a time,''Are you going to tell me the story of the Zen Policeman?''
    Ellis Nunn nodded, but whether it was in simple assent or in acceptance of the fragility of their relationship, she could not tell.
    "Many centuries ago," he began, "there was a young Buddhist priest who traveled to Tibet in order to further his understanding of religion and philosophy.
    "He possessed the proper credentials as well as a letter of introduction from his superior at his temple in central China. When, at length, he came upon the monastery he was searching for, he had climbed so high he felt as if he had breached the very vault of heaven, and it took him some time before he was able to adapt his breathing to this dizzying height.
    "In due course he was accepted into the monastery, but it was some days before he was summoned to the presence of the high lama. The old, wizened man looked three hundred years old.
    " 'I understand that though you are a priest you do not believe that your spiritual education is complete.'
    " 'That is correct, sir,' the young priest said in a somewhat overawed voice.
    " 'What is it you seek to learn here?' the old lama asked.
    " 'Why, all there is to learn,' the young priest said immediately.
    "The old lama looked at him and smiled. 'We shall see,' he said. 'In the meantime, we require you to remain awake and on guard during the night.'
    "The young priest looked confused. 'It took me two months to reach here. I know how remote this monastery is. How could you have enemies here?'
    " 'The monk who brought you to this chamber will tell you where you must sit tonight,' the lama said.
    " 'But I am a priest, not a guard,' the young man protested. 'Besides, I am a Buddhist. I have pledged never to harm a single creature. I cannot even till the earth for fear of killing a worm or an insect.'
    " 'You do not yet know who or what you are,' the old lama said. 'That is why you are