Free Saving Grace by Jane Green

where you are.’
    ‘Here for the time being,’ said her mother brightly, spinning around and pulling a small key from a string tied around her neck. ‘With all my worldly possessions. Want to see?’
    ‘No, it’s fine,’ said Grace, but Sally was already on her knees, pulling things wildly out of the locker and flinging them on the bed. There was nothing of value in there. A tennis ball; mismatched socks; an oversized, filthy sweater with holes all over it; a plastic doll with a missing leg; a green plastic bowl; a child’s plastic tiara with one remaining red gemstone stuck in the middle; a lipstick; a scarf; trainers that looked to be at least three sizes bigger than Sally would wear; and an empty plastic bottle that had once contained Coke.
    ‘That’s quite a collection you have there,’ said Grace, sitting down on the bed.
    ‘I know!’ Sally was proud. ‘This is my favourite.’ She pulled the lipstick out and inexpertly applied it over the lines of her lips as Grace felt a twinge of pain. Everything she had always dreaded was right there in front of her – her mother with lipstick all over her face, glittering eyes, appearing to be the craziest of crazy old ladies.
    When she wasn’t even old.
    ‘And this!’ Her mother perched the tiara on her head and laughed, dropping into a curtsey.
    ‘Very pretty,’ Grace said. ‘Mum, I know it’s been a long time since we saw each other, and I’m only here for two weeks, but I’d really like to help you in some way. I have a job now, in publishing, and things are going well. How can I help? What can I do for you?’
    Sally seemed not to hear. ‘I loved it when you were young,’ she said suddenly, her eyes whirling around the room, settling on Grace every few seconds before darting off somewhere else. ‘Didn’t we have fun, Gracie? Remember when you and I would climb in the car and go off and have adventures? Wasn’t that the best? Just you and me?’
    ‘It was,’ lied Grace, astounded her mother had such fond memories of a childhood that was so completely disappointing to Grace, so completely unsafe.
    ‘Mum? Margaret tells me you’re not taking your medication. She says you were doing really well until that point. I was wondering whether you might be willing to go back into a treatment centre, just to get you back on the straight and narrow again.’
    It was like watching a cloud descend over Sally, a veil drop over her face, and instantly Grace knew she had said the wrong thing. Instantly she regressed to a little girl, knowing that she had set a foot wrong, that her mother was about to embark on one of her terrifying rages. There was no place to hide.
    ‘Why?’ barked Sally, her voice loud and aggressive. ‘You think there’s something wrong with me? You all think there’s something wrong with me! All of you lot who want to drug me up with pills that make me feel like I’m half dead, who tell me there’s something wrong with being who I am. Look at you, all fine and fancy in your fancy American clothes. Who do you think you are, coming here to sneer at me? You don’t know anything about my life. You don’t know what makes me happy and what I need to get by. You don’t care. No one cares.’ Her voice dropped as her mood changed from rage to self-pity. ‘I don’t need some busybody do-gooder swanning in and telling me what I need to make me better. I’m fine. Better than fine, and I don’t need anyone’s help.’
    ‘I’m sorry, Mum. I didn’t mean to offend you. I just wanted to . . . help.’
    ‘Everyone wants to help,’ she spat. ‘I don’t need help. I don’t need you, do I? Can’t you see? I’ve managed perfectly well all these years without you and I certainly don’t need you now.’
    ‘I’m your family, Mum. I’m your daughter. Daughters are supposed to take care of their mothers when they get older. It has nothing to do with me thinking I know what’s best for you, it’s just . . . biology.’
    ‘
Hmph
.’ Sally