Free Shallow Breath by Sara Foster Page A

they are never fully asleep? That they rest one half of their brain at a time? That while they are alive a part of them is always conscious?’
    Desi doesn’t answer. He is obviously going somewhere with this, and she is not sure of his tone.
    ‘It’s just, I often wonder what they listen to,’ he says, ‘I mean, right now, when it’s quiet above the water – no crowds, notrainers, no party tricks to perform.’ He gestures towards the ocean. ‘Do you think they listen to the ocean, during the long hours of the night when they are alone in there? Do you think they miss it, or know the sound of it as home?’
    Desi cannot come up with anything to say.
    ‘Sorry,’ he continues, taking another drag of his cigarette, the orange glow flaring in his eyes for a second. ‘I should have introduced myself.’ He holds out a hand. ‘I’m Connor.’

    Noise brings her back to the present – a burble of voices, getting louder. Desi jumps up as three teenagers come into view, clutching bottles wrapped in brown paper bags, laughing as they pick their way through the grass.
    They notice her at the same time, and all talking ceases. Desi smiles weakly, then puts her head down and hurries past, hearing them burst into laughter once she has disappeared behind the trees. They can’t be much more than sixteen – to them this has always been an adventure playground of ruins, full of hidden places to hang out.
    She is grateful when she’s inside Chug, away from everything broken and unsettling. She wants to get home to the shack. She wants to make plans. She reverses Chug a little too quickly and gets an irate beep from a vehicle behind her that she hadn’t noticed. Then she automatically turns left to drive around the headland towards home, forgetting in her distraction that this will take her past the scene of her crime.
    The Carlisle house. Everyone but Rick has long moved away, but he is still there. At least he was a couple of years ago. There are no clues as to who might be inside right now – only dark windows and an empty driveway.
    She wonders if Rick Carlisle talks to her father any more. She had never been certain if they really liked one other, or if it was circumstance that had drawn them together: the same occupation, and then finding themselves living alone within the same year. She hopes her actions might have ended their friendship for good now, all forty incomprehensible years of it.
    But that wasn’t the only bond she had broken. Her thoughts move swiftly to Rebecca. She wonders if her old friend thinks of her much nowadays, or if she would rather pretend that Desi didn’t exist. Perhaps Rebecca doesn’t even know she is home. And her heartbeat quickens as she realises it’s time to confront her mistakes, and seek forgiveness.

10
    Pete
    ‘W hat do you know about a girl called Kate?’
    Pete has barely got through the door before Desi continues, ‘She’s Connor’s niece, Maya tells me. And she’s coming to see me, apparently.’
    ‘Maya’s told me about her, but I haven’t met her,’ Pete says, setting his bag down and giving Desi a kiss on the cheek. ‘How do you feel about it?’
    Is this the moment when Connor’s secrets will unravel for Desi?
Pete asks himself.
What will Kate have to say?
    ‘I honestly don’t know,’ Desi replies. ‘I just can’t imagine what she wants to see me for, after all this time. Especially when Connor’s family barely acknowledged us. Anyway, how was your day?’
    ‘Fine,’ he says. ‘The usual.’
    ‘How was Indah today? And the baby?’
    ‘Yeah, good.’
    He knows this is ridiculous. How long can he keep beingvague before he has to actually lie? And why doesn’t he just tell her the truth? That he went to the zoo as a visitor this morning. And then spent the afternoon turning the house upside-down, searching for a letter he hasn’t seen in years, which he is desperate to show Desi before Kate turns up.
    Desi saves him from all this by changing the