Free Love's Executioner by Irvin D. Yalom Page A

carefully.
    “The best answer I can give to all the questions you’ve raised is that speaking to Matthew will bring us closer to the truth. Surely you want that?” She had her back to me, but I thought I could see a slight nod of agreement. “You can’t go on living a lie or an illusion!
    “You know, Thelma, you’ve many times asked me questions about my theoretical orientation. I often haven’t answered because I thought that talking about schools of therapy would get us away from the personal discourse we needed to have. But let me give you one answer to that question now. Perhaps the single most important therapeutic credo that I have is that ‘the unexamined life is not worth living.’ Getting Matthew into this office might be the key to a true examination and understanding of what’s been happening to you these past eight years.”
    My answer soothed Thelma. She walked back to her chair and sat down.
    “This is stirring up a lot of stuff in me. My head is spinning. Let me think about it for a week. But you must promise me one thing—that you won’t call Matthew without my permission.”
    I promised that unless I heard from her, I would not call Matthew during the next week, and we parted. I wasn’t about to give a guarantee that I would never call—but fortunately she didn’t ask for that.
    Thelma came in for the next session looking ten years younger and with a spring to her step. She had had her hair done and was attractively dressed in an argyle wool skirt and stockings, instead of her usual polyester slacks or jogging suit. She immediately took her seat and got down to business.
    “I’ve spent all week thinking about a meeting with Matthew. I’ve gone over all the pros and cons, and I now believe you are right—I’m in such bad shape that it’s not likely anything could make me worse!”
    “Thelma, those aren’t my words. I said that——”
    But Thelma was not interested in my words and spoke over me. “But your plan of phoning him was not a good idea. It would have been a shock to get an out-of-the-blue call from you. So I decided to call him to prepare him for your call. Of course, I didn’t reach him, but I told his telephone-answering tape about your proposal, and I said for him to phone me or you and—and——”
    Here, with a big grin on her face, she paused to let the suspense build.
    I was astonished. I had never before seen her play. “And?”
    “Well, you’ve got more clout than I thought. For the first time in eight years, he returned my call and we had a twenty-minute friendly chat.”
    “How did it feel to talk to him?”
    “Wonderful! I can’t tell you how wonderful. It was like we had just talked the previous day. He was the old gentle, caring Matthew. He asked all about me. He was concerned about my depression. He was glad I was seeing you. We had a good talk.”
    “Can you tell me what you discussed?”
    “God, I don’t know. We just chattered away.”
    “About the past? The present?”
    “You know, it sounds crazy, but I don’t remember!”
    “Can you remember any of it?” A lot of therapists, at this point, would have made an interpretation about the way she was shutting me out. Perhaps I should have, but I couldn’t wait. I was so damn curious! It was typical of Thelma not to think that I might have some wishes, too.
    “You know, I’m not trying to conceal anything. I just can’t remember. I was too excited. Oh, yes, he told me he had been married and divorced and that he had gone through a lot of turmoil about the divorce.
    “But the main thing is that he is willing to come in for a three-way meeting. You know, it’s funny, he even sounded eager—as though it has been me avoiding him. I told him to come in to your office at my regular hour next week, but he told me to ask you if we could make it sooner. Now that we’ve decided to do it, he wants to do it as soon as possible. I guess I feel the same way.”
    I suggested a time two days hence, and