Free Love's Executioner by Irvin D. Yalom

“I think we need some help to move along further. I’d like your permission to phone Matthew and invite him to join us. I think just a single three-way session would be sufficient, but we ought to do it soon because I think we’ll need several hours afterward to integrate what we learn.”
    Thelma, who had been apathetically slumped in her chair, suddenly bolted upright. Her string purse fell from her lap onto the floor, but she ignored it to listen wide-eyed to me. Finally, finally, I had gotten her attention, and she sat silently for several minutes contemplating my words.
    Although I had not fully thought through my proposal, I believed that Matthew would agree to meet with us. I hoped that my reputation in the field would intimidate him into cooperating. Moreover, eight years of Thelma’s taped phone messages had to be getting to him, and I was confident that he, too, longed for release.
    I was not certain what would happen in this extraordinary three-way meeting, yet I felt strangely confident that all would be for the best. Any information would help. Any introduction of reality should help me release Thelma from her fixation on Matthew. Regardless of the depth of his character flaw—and I had no doubt that it was a trench of considerable magnitude—I was sure he would do nothing in my presence to encourage her fantasies of ultimate reunion.
    After an unusually long silence, Thelma stated that she needed more time to think about it. “So far,” she said, “I see more cons than pros——”
    I sighed and settled back into my chair. I knew that Thelma would take the rest of the hour spinning obsessional webs.
    “On the positive side I guess it would give Dr. Yalom some firsthand observations.”
    I sighed even more deeply. This was going to be worse than usual; she was speaking of me in the third person. I started to point out that she was speaking as though I weren’t in the same room with her, but couldn’t summon the energy—she had worn me down.
    “On the negative side, I can think of several possibilities. First, your call would alienate him from me. I’ve got a one- or two-percent chance now that he’ll come around. Your call would drop my chances to zero, or less.”
    I was definitely growing irritated and thought, “ Eight years have gone by, Thelma, can’t you get the message? And besides, how can your chances be less than zero, you ninny?” This really was my final card and I was beginning feel that she would trump it. But I kept silent.
    “His only motivation to participate would be professional—helping a sickie who’s too incompetent to run her own life. Number three,——”
    My God! She was talking in lists again. I couldn’t stand it.
    “Number three, Matthew will probably tell the truth, but the wording will be patronizing and would be heavily influenced by Dr. Yalom’s presence. I don’t think I could take being patronized. Number four, this is going to put him in a very compromising and embarrassing position professionally. He will never forgive me for it.”
    “But, Thelma, he’s a therapist. He knows that in order for you to get well, you’ve got to talk about him. If he’s the spiritually minded person you think him to be, then surely he’s experienced much guilt at your distress and would take pleasure in helping.”
    But Thelma was too involved in developing her list to hear my words.
    “Number five, what possible help could I get from a three-way meeting? There is almost no chance he’ll say what I hope he’ll say. I don’t even care if he means it, I just want him to say he cares about me. If I’m not going to get what I want and need, why should I expose myself to the pain? I’ve been hurt enough. Why should I do it?” Thelma got out of her chair and walked over to the window.
    Now I was deeply concerned. Thelma was getting herself worked up into an irrational frenzy and was going to block my last chance to help her. I took my time and thought out my words