Free 9781631055027DealersChoiceHoltNC by Desiree Holt Page B

of mind. Inside yourself you have to have the desire to dominate or submit. You have to wonder how much pain it would take to raise your level of gratification. And the act of dominance or submission has to be what gives you the ultimate pleasure. It’s the whole package.”
    “I know that.” She bit her lower lip in frustration. “I haven’t brought this up to you before, because…because…”
    “Because what?”
    “Promise you won’t tell me I’m crazy? Or that I’m imagining things?”
    He grinned. “I’ll do my best, although you know I like crazy.” Then his face sobered. “Just let it out, Fee. What is it that’s got you so twisted in knots here?”
    She looked down at her lap. “I think, that is I feel, oh, hell. The more I watch the subs both in the private rooms and on performance nights, the more I have this feeling inside me that I might be one.”
    Reulas gently squeezed the hand he was holding.
    “Fiona. Look at me.”
    She lifted her gaze to meet his. “What?”
    “You worked at a similar club before you moved to San Antonio. Did you ever have that same feeling there? That same latent urge?”
    “Yes.” She had to be truthful with him. “But not as strong as since I’ve been here. Besides, I thought maybe it was just the excitement of it. Something different. But I watch the women here who are subs, and talk to them. And I realized that deep inside me I think I have the same desire for that domination that they do. It’s just taken me a while to understand that.”
    He was silent for so long Fee’s stomach clenched with tension. Finally he released her hand and leaned back in his chair.
    “You think. Isn’t that what you said? You think ? A big part of this is the psychological state of mind. Do you think your head is into it?”
    She opened her mouth to say something but he held up his hand.
    “Let me finish. Think about this carefully because I don’t want you to make a mistake here.” He looked at her with his famous Reulas stare. “We have neophytes come here now and then. You’ve taken their information. Are you telling me you want to explore your inner sub? Or find out if you really have one? Is that what you’re saying?”
    Fee wet her lips and tried to gather her thoughts. This unfamiliar need inside her had been plaguing her for months. It disturbed her at night when images from the club invaded her dreams and she switched places with the women in the scenes. It wasn’t just that it made her pussy wet and her nipples ache with need. It was more than that, a deep-seated hunger that she was finally willing to embrace.
    Could she make Reulas see that? Would he honor her request?
    “That’s exactly what I’m telling you. I’m not taking this lightly. I want you to understand that. The more I see, the more I talk to people, the more something inside me is urging me to test this.” She caught her lower lip between her teeth. “I’ve known for some time that something was missing in my sex life. I started to feel it at the club where I worked before. At Fantasy the need became even stronger.”
    He watched her for a long moment. “So you’ve given this a lot of thought. Is that what you’re saying?”
    Fee nodded. “I am.”
    “Say I were to go along with this. Have you picked out a particular Dom? For a neophyte sub, that Dom needs to understand the basics of training and exactly how far to take the game.”
    Fee shook her head. “No. I thought I could discuss that with you.” Heat crept up her cheeks. “I, of course, want it to be someone I can, um, relate to.”
    He grinned. “Sexually.”
    “Yes.” She buried her face in her hands. She was stupid to even have brought this up.  With a love life that became more boring every year, her inner self as well as her body had been sending her strong signals. She yearned to find the right Master and the right relationship. She wanted that power exchange, that complete trust she observed in the couples who came to