Free Holy Enchilada by Henry Winkler

with the reptile kingdom.”
    Robert got down on his hands and knees in front of Katherine. He stuck his tongue out at her, and I swear, the two of them looked alike. Except Robert didn’t have a tail. At least, none that I knew of.
    Robert and Katherine continued their weird communication for what seemed like way too long for me. Then he started to make strange sounds in his throat. Iguana sounds.
    â€œCoo roo ca ca shoo,” he said. “Coo roo ca ca shoo.”
    What did that mean — “Getout of there right now, you scaly beast!”?
    Katherine blinked her eyes and stared at Robert. As a matter of fact, we were all staring at Robert, Yoshi especially. I hoped he wasn’t thinking that this was a typical night in a typical American family. Even for the Zipzers, this was extraordinary.
    â€œCoo roo ca ca shoo,” Robert repeated softly. He stuck his tongue out a couple more times. Then, slowly, he reached into the cupboard and picked up Katherine. She didn’t do anything. She seemed really peaceful as she snuggled up against his bony chest. Maybe she thought she was leaning against tree roots.
    â€œShe’s safe now,” he whispered to Emily.
    â€œOh, Robert,” Emily said with a sigh. “You saved her.”
    Emily was so happy, she reached out and gave Robert a kiss. I’m not going to describe it, because why gross all of us out? It’s bad enough I had to see it with my own eyes. But I will tell you this: Robert turned bright red from his ears to his fingertips. He was as red as ... well ... chili powder.
    Robert stood up, still holding Katherine.
    â€œI’ll go put her in her cage,” he said. “She’s had a hard thirty minutes.”
    They practically floated out of the kitchen. Just a boy, a girl, and a blissed-out reptile.
    I looked over at Yoshi. He gave me a thumbs-up, and I could see how relieved he was. Wouldn’t you be if my sister Emily fell out of love with you? She fell out of love so hard, you could almost see her hit the floor.

CHAPTER 16
    â€œI CAN’T BELIEVE I GOT ALL THAT on Videotape,” Ashley said. “The cooking show is going to seem pretty dull after the Big Kiss.”
    â€œCan we not talk about that ever again, Ash?” I groaned.
    â€œI’m with you on that one, Ziparooney,” said Frankie. “Some things are meant to be forgotten, and I’m pushing that K-I-S-S out of my brain as fast as I can. Now where were we?”
    â€œZing,” said Yoshi.
    â€œGood thinking, Yosh Man,” Frankie said. “Hankster was just about to tell me how much chili powder to put in the enchilada sauce.”
    â€œI already put it in,” I said, saying a silent thank-you to Katherine for saving me.
    â€œHow much did you put in?” Frankie wanted to know.
    â€œJust the right amount. The amount couldn’t be more perfect.”
    â€œAnd how much was that?” Ashley asked. “Not that we don’t trust you, Hank.”
    â€œHey, did I tell you how to shoot your video?” I asked her.
    â€œNo.”
    â€œGood. Then don’t tell me how to cook my enchiladas.”
    â€œHave it your way,” Ashley said with a shrug.
    Now all I could do was hope that what I hoped was the right amount was really the right amount.

CHAPTER 17
    PAPA PETE CALLED ME FIRST THING the next morning.
    â€œI’m coming to pick you up to take you to school,” he told me. “Your mother said you made a big pan of enchiladas. It’s probably too heavy to carry.”
    â€œBut, Papa Pete, you don’t have a car,” I pointed out.
    â€œHankie, why would something like that stop me?” he said, and hung up.
    We waited for him outside our apartment. Frankie held my backpack while Yoshi and I balanced the pan of enchiladas between us. Robert and Emily were there, too, making goo-goo eyes at each other. After a few minutes, a long black limousine pulled up. I couldn’t