Free Charade by Sandra Brown

deterrent, it seems. "There are so many children with special problems who don't have loving parents. They began to haunt me, Dean. I couldn't sleep for hearing them crying in the darkness, lonely and afraid and feeling
    unloved." She gave him a sad smile. "I've got to do something for those kids. It's that simple." "I admire your philanthropic spirit, Cat. If you want to adopt a kid, more than one, I'm perfectly willing." She laughed outright. "Oh, I can just see that! Dean, get real, okay? You're a brilliant physician, but you lack the flexibility necessary to parenting." "If it meant the difference between having you and not--" "It doesn't. Believe me, if I thought a judge would award me--a single heart transplantee--a child, I'd already have one. But this isn't about my adopting. Cat's Kids is about convincing other people to adopt." "Cat's Kids?" "Nancy Webster's idea. Like it?" "It's real . . . catchy." She wished he could share her enthusiasm, but he considered the whole idea preposterous. "Cat, do you really want to ... demote yourself this way? Leave your career and move to Texas?" "It'll be different," she conceded with a chuckle. "Couldn't you just sponsor the program, be the official spokesperson, without having to become personally involved?" "Be a figurehead, you mean?" "Something like that." "That would be counterfeit. If my name's attached, it's my baby. It'll be a hands-on project all the way." She regarded him sadly. "Besides, I don't view this as a 'demotion.' To my mind, I'm not taking a step backward, but several steps forward. I expect overwhelming rewards." Restless with excitement, she tossed aside the afghan and left the chair. "This is the part that you won't get." Turning to face him, she splayed her hand over her chest. "I'm doing this because I can't live with myself if I don't." "You're right," he said, also coming to his feet. "I don't get it. You had a tough childhood. But who the hell didn't? Ozzie and Harriet was a fairy tale, Cat. In real life, every damn one of us grows up feeling unloved."
    "Yes! Especially if your mom and dad choose death over living with you!" His angry retort was held in check. He looked at her with puzzlement. "Suicide? You told me your parents were killed in an accident." "Well, they weren't." She now regretted blurting out the nasty truth of her parents' demise because he was looking at her with the same mix of fascination and horror as the social workers had always regarded skinny, redheaded, recalcitrant little Catherine Delaney. "That's when I learned to crack jokes instead of cry. I had to become either a wit or a basket case. So don't pity me, Dean. It was a bad scene when it happened, but it made me strong, gave me enough grit to survive a heart transplant. I hope you can understand why I must do this. "I know firsthand what it's like to be set apart from other children. If your parents are dead, or you're disabled, or poor, you're discriminated against. Those disadvantages make a kid an oddball. And you know as well as I do that if you're different, you're out. Period. "Hundreds of thousands of kids are hurting, Dean. They have problems we can't imagine. Just getting through the day represents a challenge. They can't play, learn, or interact with other children because they're too burdened with being abused or orphaned or sick or any combination of the above. "There are families that are capable and willing to even the odds for these children, if only they knew how to go about it. I'm going to help match the two. It's a challenge I welcome. It's given me purpose. I believe this is why I was given a second life." He groaned. "Don't go philosophical on me, Cat. You were given a second life because medical technology made it possible." "You've got your interpretation, I've got mine," she said. "All I know is that there should be some payback for my good fortune. Being a TV star, making lots of money, always being surrounded by the beautiful people--that's not what