Free Changing the Past by Thomas Berger

smutty.”
    â€œAre you kidding,” Kellog asked in false indignation. “Talcum powder?”
    She shook her head. “You know very well what I mean, Jack Kellog. You’re getting quite a name for yourself with these off-color jokes.”
    â€œCome on, don’t you have a sense of humor?” He was conscious of a newfound feeling of power. He had no memory of having addressed a girl to her face when he was alone with her, and though other homeward-bound students were nearby, he and Betty Jane were isolated from them at the moment.
    â€œI certainly do, but I don’t care for anything immoral. It just lowers a person.”
    Her prissy little mouth annoyed him, and he did not find her very attractive in the first place. He liked long blond straight hair with a sheen, and hers was short and dark. Her eyes seemed small, her complexion was too pale, and whereas his ideal was big jugs with an otherwise slender body, she was stocky, and her chest was thick; her tits were actually undersized, so far as he could tell from the Argyle sweater. Why Riggins was so stuck on her Kellog could not have explained. But he was irritated now by her criticism, and he remembered his mission.
    â€œLook, I don’t care what you think about me,” he said to her petulant profile as they started up the sidewalk. “What I’m supposed to tell you is that Gordon Riggins likes you a lot.”
    She stopped and stared at him. “Is that supposed to be funny?”
    â€œWell, dammit,” Kellog said. “What’s wrong with you? This guy told me to say it, and I have, and that’s that, as far as I’m concerned.”
    â€œYou don’t have to curse,” Mary Jane told him. “I was just asking. Never, never have I given Gordon Riggins any reason whatsoever to think about me. I hardly know who he is. Is he that stupid jerk who is practically illiterate in class?”
    This appealed to Kellog’s natural malice. “That’s pretty much on the head of the nail. I hear when he was born, the doctor lifted him up and slapped his face.”
    Betty Jane giggled at this, though she said, “Oh, you’re so awful.”
    â€œHe’s so dumb,” said Kellog, “he thinks Lincoln’s Gettysburg Address is a post-office box.”
    Now Betty Jane shrieked. “See, you don’t have to be dirty to be funny.” She had the most grating laugh he had ever heard, though naturally he liked her better now.
    â€œYou know, he asked me to lend him a dime and said, ‘I ain’t had a bite all day.’… So I bit him!”
    When her laughter was done, she asked, “Oh, my gosh, where do you get ‘em?”
    â€œGordo went to the doctor to have a physical exam, and the doctor examined him and said, ‘You’re sick.’ Gordo said, ‘I feel fine. I want to get a second opinion.’ ‘Okay,’ said the doc, ‘you’re ugly too.’”
    Now Betty Jane laughed so hard that a breath went down the wrong way and she coughed and clasped her books to her chest. “If you don’t stop you’ll give me heart failure,” said she when she was again able to speak.
    â€œOkay, then,” said Kellog, “I told you what I was supposed to: Riggins likes you. So long, then.” They were coming to a corner, and he had run out of ready material. And even if he had not, he was aware of the need to leave the stage while they still wanted more instead of waiting till they began to long for relief.
    â€œWhere are you going now?” asked Betty Jane. “You live in this direction too, don’t you?”
    â€œGot to see a guy about a horse,” he breezily answered, using a line he did not understand but had heard on the radio more than once.
    â€œWell, say,” said Betty Jane, a slight flush washing her freckles, “maybe we’ll meet again I don’t know where or when.”
    Kellog grunted.