Free Let Me Tell You Something by Caroline Manzo

friend’s home can be much more special than a formal dinner party—and if you’re the host, you can actually enjoy yourself a hell of a lot more.
    Don’t keep a guest list either—if someone is coming over and they call and ask if they can bring a friend (or two, or three), just say sure, and welcome those strangers and have the best time you can with them. Whether you like them or not doesn’t matter—set them on the couch with a nice glass of wine and get to know them.
    When the boys were teenagers, we would have twenty kids at a time at the house. They would have sleepovers all the time. Every year, on New Year’s Eve I wouldn’t know how many kids were staying over, but I always knew it was going to be a lot. They’d arrive early and we’d drive them all over to The Brownstone. I’d take all their car keys away so they couldn’t drive, and at the end of the night we’d bring them all back to the house. On New Year’s Day I’d always put out a huge breakfast with coffee and bagels and there’d be twenty kids laughing and joking.
    Ask Caroline
    Hi Caroline! My mother-in-law has a key to our house and thinks it’s OK to pop in whenever she wants. She unlocks the door and lets herself in without knocking. She says she doesn’t want to startle us or wake us up, but it’s uncomfortable not knowing when she’s going to turn up. What’s a good way to discuss this with her so that she knows she’s still always welcome, but we’d like her to call and let us know she’s coming first?
    If you have a good relationship with her, tell her the truth. Put your arm around her and tell it like it is. Explain that you enjoy her visits but you’re looking to avoid an embarrassing situation. Use a little lighthearted humor. Hug it out, but make sure she gets where you’re coming from.
    The bottom line is that it’s your house and you’re entitled to your privacy. In situations like this it’s always better to act quickly so it doesn’t blow up into a bigger problem with more resentment and hard feelings. Take care of this now to avoid a bigger problem down the road.
    It was wonderful. I’d sit in the kitchen and read a book so they always had to get past me and I could keep an eye on them. We’re talking about teenage boys and girls here. They could get loud and they were always up to something. But as much of a hassle as it could be, there’s absolutely nothing in this world that makes me happier than a full house filled with the sound of laughter. I’ll take that any day over sitting alone in a silent, perfectly tidy house.
    Ask Caroline
    Caroline: I’m so sick of housework and cooking. How do I get my family to do their share?
    Welcome to the club! It isn’t realistic to flip a switch and expect things to change overnight. I would suggest getting family members more involved in the cooking process on the weekend and make a day of it. Over the years, the responsibility of cooking has shifted from my grandparents to my parents to myself and now to my children. It was a gradual process born from spending time in the kitchen together while meals were being prepared. During conversation it became a natural progression to just start helping out. We still get together every Sunday and everyone pitches in. We have fun, we laugh, and we enjoy each other’s company creating memories at the same time.
    As far as keeping the house clean, well, I would say that the common areas should be respected and that’s that. Set rules and boundaries and stick with them. There has to be consequences if your rules are disrespected, especially if the kids are old enough to know the difference.
    Trust me, I’ve been known to donate my kids’ favorite shoes to the homeless shelter if they’ve been lying around the kitchen floor after I’ve repeatedly asked the kids to put them away.