Free Needing You by T. Renee Fike Page B

am doing is best for the both of us. 
    By the time the bar is closed, I am spent.  My feet hurt, my head hurts, and my eyes want to fall out of my head.  Natalie ended up leaving early so we were extra busy which means extra dead tired now.  The tips are amazing though, so I suck it up and help restock the coolers then ask Marcus when he’s ready to go.  He tells me he’s ready and we head out to the parking lot.  Just like I thought, Tucker is standing at the corner waiting for me. 
    I say hey and then tell him that Marcus is taking me home and that I will talk to him later.  I continue to walk to Marcus’ car and Tucker catches up and says, “I can take you home.”
    “It’s okay, I’m beat anyway. Go hang out with your friends and I’ll talk to you later, goodnight Tuck.” And without another word, I get into Marcus’ car and shut the door.  I can tell by the look on Tucker’s face he knows something’s going on, but he doesn’t say anything, just waves as we pull out on to the road, towards home.
    Tonight goes a lot like last night, I get home take a shower and then head to bed because I’m exhausted.  I thought sleep would come quickly and it does, but so does the nightmares.  I’m not sure how long I slept but it felt like ten damn minutes before I wake up screaming, tears rolling down my face,  and me punching my pillow thinking it’s someone else.  God, why won’t they stop? I just want a normal life, without the messed up bullshit, without the drama, just a carefree normal teenage life like most kids have.  Most kids don’t grow up with a fucked-up family like mine.
    This nightmare was different than last night’s, but it’s no better than the night before.  This time it was me screaming and fighting, not my sister, and who’s going to believe a child over an adult, apparently no one because that’s reality.  Kids lie, parents tell the truth, what a crock of shit.  If one person would have believed my sister she would be here today, but because no adult would believe her, at least not enough to step in and do anything, my sister had to take control into her own hands and make a decision that would ruin the rest of our lives.  Well not our lives, particularly mine.  My life is the one that got fucked-up once she decided she had enough.  If only she would have talked to me, I would have done something, tried something; instead I learned about it from her journal and then later found the reality of it out myself.
    Whoever said the truth will set you free lied, because my sister told the truth and look where it got her, six feet under the fucking ground.  Even after her death, my parents were able to come up with some bullshit cover story so they would continue to look like the amazing family, except I knew the truth.  But hell, did I do anything, no!  I just left, ran away, when I turned eighteen with no intentions of ever going back.  If I go back, I would kill the monster and then I would be stuck in jail where the monster deserves to be.  How is that fair? I don’t understand the world sometimes, it just doesn’t make sense.
    After crying my eyes out, crying for me and for my sister, I finally succumb to sleep. I have no plans for tomorrow anyway except hiding in my apartment all day, so hopefully I can sleep the day away.
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    I wake up and lucky for me it’s already 2 p.m.  I slept a good part of the day away.  I decide I need to do some laundry so I gather my clothes and then head down to the laundry room.  I make sure to take my e-reader because I am going to be down here for a while.  I throw two loads in the open washers and then have a seat and fall into the romance novel I am currently reading. 
    I finish the book I was reading by the time the buzzer goes off on the last dryer.  I walk over and take out my final load, fold it and put the clothes into the basket. I make my way back up to my apartment. Once inside I realize I