Free North Pole Reform School by Jaimie Admans

careless.”
    “Why were you angry?”
    “Because I bloody hate Christmas. What’s the point in making
us lug this tree and all these decorations out of the staff room and spend a
whole afternoon setting them up when school finishes a week before Christmas
anyway? The teachers always, always, call on me to help with Christmas stuff
because of my name and they know what my dad does for a living.”
    “Understandable,” Luke says.
    “You’re all here to learn to accept responsibility and
respect for the meaning of Christmas.”
    “This is like some sort of Christmas
Carol bullshit,” Joe says. “Where’s Tiny Tim?”
    “It’s not bullshit, Joe, and we don’t like to use that kind
of language around here.”
    “Well, you’ll just have to get used to it. You kidnap me in
the middle of the night, you can expect me to use a bit of bad language.”
    Navi rolls his eyes and Tinsel tuts. “Okay, moving on.
Emily, care to tell us what you’ve done to ruin Christmas this year?”
    “Lot of ducks at this time of year, are there, love?” Joe
taunts her.
    “Shut up,” she tells him.
    I actually agree with her. He’s very annoying.
    “Okay,” Emily starts. “I hate Christmas for many reasons but
mainly because something bad always happens at Christmas. Always. I mean, I
know I have some issues, I’m sure you can all see that already, but something
bad always happens at this time of year. Last Christmas my cat died. The one
before that my mother broke her leg. The year before that my washing machine
shorted out my electricity, and I had no power for four days. The one before
that my boyfriend broke up with me. My grandparents have been in a car accident
on Christmas Eve, my hamster died on Boxing Day, and that’s just an example of
what December usually brings with it. Christmas is a magnet for bad luck, so
this year I decided to do something about it.”
    “Maybe it’s the ducks,” Joe says.
    “It’s not funny. Do you know that more and more people are
eating duck for their Christmas dinner these days? The ducks are particularly
vengeful at this time of year.”
    I barely manage to stifle my giggle, and I hear Luke snort
beside me.
    “What did you do about it, Emily?” Tinsel says, trying to
defuse the situation.
    “Well, I thought I could cancel it. Even as I’m saying it
now, I realise how stupid it sounds, and I’ve been running around like the
Grinch trying to cancel Christmas for the whole village. I ripped down all the
Christmas lights, I set up a mailbox for kids to put their letters to Santa in
and then I threw them all in the bin, I offered to post people’s stacks of
Christmas cards and I posted them down the drain instead, I cut down the big
tree the council put up by the bus stop, and I’ve been out at night pouring
buckets of water on the roads so they turn to ice.”
    “That’s brilliant.” Luke laughs. “Wish I’d thought of that.”
    “You’re not helping, Mr Wyatt,” Navi informs him.
    “Yes, Emily has caused some havoc too,” Tinsel says. “But at
least she seems to realise that what she’s been doing is stupid, which makes
her a step further than you and Mistletoe.”
    “No, no,” Emily says. “I was just stupid to think it would
work. It’s not like people are going to stop celebrating Christmas just because
a few cards didn’t get there.”
    “Do you know how many people have fallen on the ice you
created, Emily?” Tinsel asks.
    Emily shrugs.
    “Five, and two of them were little old ladies, and three of
them broke bones. One will be in hospital for the entire festive season with a
broken hip.”
    “I’m sorry,” she says. “I didn’t intend to really hurt
anyone, I just wanted to make people realise that Christmas isn’t this magical,
wonderful time that everyone seems to think it is.”
    “It can be if you let it,” Tinsel says.
    Emily rolls her eyes.
    “And you, Hugo? What have you been doing to ruin people’s
Christmases?”
    “I hate Christmas,”