Free Cherish the Land by Ariel Tachna Page B

Devlin would affect Jeremy. Seth refused to think of Chris in a similar situation. Chris had been the only stability in his life before they came to Lang Downs, and Chris was still the only person he cared about who hadn’t abandoned him at least once. If Chris had an accident like Devlin had… it didn’t bear thinking about.
    “I’m going to clean up before dinner,” Jason said, “and I ought to see what Cooper’s plans are for the evening. I shouldn’t neglect him too much.”
    So much for forgetting his worries.
    “I’ll see you at dinner, maybe,” Seth said. “Or not, if you want to spend time with him.”
    “You could join us in the bunkhouse,” Jason offered. “There’s a lot of great blokes working the station this summer. You’d enjoy it.”
    “I’ll think about it,” Seth said. He’d told Macklin he would take an empty room in the bunkhouse, but the more he thought about it, the more he couldn’t stomach the idea. He’d stay with Chris and Jesse for now and make more permanent arrangements later. “I have to work again tomorrow, so I don’t want to stay up too late.” He didn’t want to watch Jason snuggled up with another man.
    “I have to work tomorrow too,” Jason reminded him. “People come and go as they need to, but it’s better than sitting alone in your room.”
    “I’m not alone. I have Chris and Jesse.”
    “So you do,” Jason agreed. “I guess living with your brother is different than moving back in with your parents. I couldn’t get into the bunkhouse fast enough when I came back.”
    Couldn’t get into Cooper’s bed fast enough , Seth thought cynically. “It would be hard to take Cooper back to your place if you were still living there.”
    “Mum and Dad don’t care that I’m gay or that I’m seeing Cooper,” Jason said. “But the other jackaroos already see me as a kid. Living with my parents would make that worse.”
    “I guess,” Seth said. “You’ve got more experience than most of them put together, though, so what does it matter what they think?”
    Jason shrugged. “It’s nice to have friends my own age. I didn’t know you were coming home when I moved into the bunkhouse.”
    Could all this have been avoided if he’d shared his plans with Jason sooner instead of wanting to surprise him with the news? The thought made him sick to his stomach.
    “I’ll see you at dinner,” Seth said. He had to get away from Jason before he said something he’d regret. He didn’t poach. As long as Jason was happy with Cooper, Seth couldn’t say anything. If he made Jason uncomfortable, he’d lose even their friendship, and that would kill him.
    He bolted from the ute, leaving the notes Jason had taken and everything else behind. He’d come back after dinner and make sure everything was ready for whoever took the ute out next, but he had to be alone now. He thought he heard Jason call after him, but he didn’t turn around to check. He couldn’t deal with Jason right now.
    Chris was in the living room when Seth came in. “Hi, how was your day?”
    “Fine,” Seth said through gritted teeth, “but I really need a shower. We’ll talk when I’m done, okay?”
    “Sure.” Chris looked surprised, but Seth couldn’t do explanations right now. Talking to Chris might be easier than talking to Jason, but only marginally. He’d get his balance back, and then he could go back to pretending nothing was wrong.
    He grabbed a change of clothes in the bedroom and paused for a moment to consider his razor. He’d always liked the feel of a straight razor when he was shaving, and no one questioned him owning one or having it in the bathroom. He pressed hard against the scrapes on his knuckles, but they’d lost most of their painful sensitivity overnight and with all the work he’d done that day. “Fuck.”
    He grabbed the razor along with his clothes and headed for the bathroom. He needed to shave anyway. Maybe the shower would help and he could just get rid of