Free Unforgiven (Wanderers #3) by Jessica Miller

heart
stopped when I saw it was Roman calling. This time I didn’t ignore
it. “Hi,” I breathed.
    “Ella, oh thank God. Are you okay? What’s going on?
Where are you?”
    “I’m fine,” I said.
    I heard him breathe a sigh of relief. “I’ve been
trying to get a hold of you for days.”
    “I know,” I admitted.
    “You knew?”
    “Yes. I’m sorry, but I just needed some time.”
    “Okay,” he paused. “I get that, but I just wish you
would have said something to me. You were gone and I thought…I
thought the worst.”
    “I’m sorry,” I repeated, not knowing what else to
say.
    “You already said that.”
    “Roman, I don’t know what I can tell you except that
I am fine. You don’t have to worry about me. I promise. I just
needed to get away for a little.”
    “Where are you?”
    “That, I can’t tell you.”
    “Why not?” he asked a little perturbed.
    “I just can’t,” I said, biting the inside of my cheek
to keep from crying. I hated lying to Roman, but this is a
conversation I didn’t want to have over the phone.
    “You’re looking for him, aren’t you?” His voice was
measured. It was hard to tell if he was pissed or not. I looked up
at the ceiling to keep from losing it. “Ella, please don’t lie to
me.”
    “I don’t know what you what me to say?”
    “The truth.”
    I bit my lip. “Roman, I love you. You know that,
right?” When he didn’t say anything right away I felt a pinching
pain in my chest.
    “Yeah,” he replied, unconvincingly.
    I put my head in my hands trying to find the best way
to explain it so he would understand, but to be honest, if I were
him I wouldn’t want to listen to anything I had to say. “Roman,
I…He’s alive and I just have to confirm it for myself, that’s it. I
just need to see that he’s okay.”
    There was a long pause before he said, “I
understand.”
    “You do?”
    “Yes and no. I get why you have to know. If it was me
I would have done the same thing.”
    “So…you’re not mad at me?”
    He didn’t answer me. Instead he just said, “I have to
go. Someone’s coming.”
    “Wait, Roman, I love you,” I spit out quickly.
    “Goodbye Ella,” were his final words before I heard a
click on the phone. Those two words felt like a crushing wave. I
had a feeling this was the end of our relationship. My heart hurt
so badly. I felt like someone had squeezed it until there was
nothing left. I could no longer hold in my tears. No reason to hold
back any longer I let them fall. I didn’t blame him for being mad
at me. I brought this on myself. I didn’t deserve him. I tried to
convince myself he was better off, but the pain I felt inside was
too much. I crawled into bed and covered myself with the blankets
and balled my eyes out.
    “Hey Ella,” Josie said, coming into the room. “Ella?”
She pulled back the blanket. She took one look at my tear streaked
face and that was enough. She climbed into the bed with me without
another word and wrapped her arms around me while I cried. “You
wanna talk about it?”
    “Roman called,” I blubbered.
    “Doesn’t he always?”
    “I answered this time,” I said, wiping hastily at my
tears. “It’s over Josie. It’s really over. I screwed up.”
    “Ella, you did nothing wrong,” she said, trying to
comfort me.
    I heard the door open and turned my head slightly to
see who it was. Cameron stopped, not sure if she should proceed. I
sat up knowing I’d have to tell her. “Roman knows. He hates me,” I
said as I started to cry hysterically again.
    “He doesn’t hate you,” Cameron replied, joining us on
the bed. “He’s just upset. I’m sure once he calms down and lets the
information sink in he will be fine.”
    “No he won’t and who could blame him? I left him to
search for an ex-love. No word, no explanation. I wouldn’t want to
forgive me either.”
    “Ella, you can’t beat yourself up over this,” Josie
said.
    “Can we just not talk about it anymore?” I